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Uncover Silent Concerns - 8/5/25


One of the customer service statistics we have quoted many times over the years is:  For every complaint you do hear, there could be 26 other customer issues that you don’t hear. And when we bring up that statistic, we bring it up because we want to make sure companies Read more

Talk Yourself Up to Take Down Their Anxiety - 7/29/25


I believe that most customer service people are pretty humble, so I’m not asking you to lose your humility.  But I do have one ask of you… When that customer is anxious or nervous, when they fear the future because the future is unknown or it could be laced with Read more

Use Little Acts to Make a Big Impact - 7/22/25


A WOW Experience is not always one instance, one act that blows away the customer.  It’s not always an over-the-top-the-employee-saved-the-day act of brilliance.  Sometimes a WOW is the sum total of a series of little things that others don’t do – those actions that differentiate you from others.  The Read more

Avoid Some Stress by Addressing Issues Quickly - 7/15/25


It’s good customer service to resolve issues quickly.  The customer sees the light at the end of the tunnel.  They more quickly bring their anxiety and stress, their negative emotions down.  And they more quickly get to a solution. But this tip is not about them.  This tip is about Read more

Better Customer Service through Better Teamwork - 7/8/25


We spend so much time talking about what great customer service looks like in those 1-on-1 Moments of Truth, that we often neglect to discuss what goes on inside the company that leads to those great moments.  We’ve talked about customer handoffs within an organization, but what does a Read more

Highlight the Hidden Value - 7/1/25


Marketing campaigns often highlight a particular product and ALL the features and extras that the customer will receive… “For 3 low, low payments of only $39.99, you not only get these world-renowned chef knives, but you can also get this free laser-etched spatula!  AND THAT’S NOT ALL!  We will also Read more

Don’t Harp on the Customer’s Mistake - 6/24/25


Seth’s daughter, Sarah, had missed some swim classes, and Seth remembered that the aquatics center had several make-up classes available late in the summer.  So Seth pulled up the class schedule on his phone, found one that worked on his and Sarah’s schedules, and planned to attend a session Read more

Create Customers for Life - 6/17/25


Veronica has gone to the same automotive service shop for at least 20 years.  She bought a new car about a year ago, and this is the third car she’s brought to the shop instead of taking her car to the dealer where she bought it.  She’s had three Read more

Don’t Turn the Customer into the QA Department - 6/10/25


Roberta received a form with information filled in by the company after her conversation with the account rep.  Roberta just needed to review the information, fill in some of the blanks, sign it, and resend it in order to set up a new account. She noticed that the effective date Read more

Imitate to Improve - 6/3/25


Oscar Wilde said that “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”  Now this doesn’t mean that plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery.  Nor does it mean that great impersonators such as Rich Little, Dana Carvey, or Frank Caliendo are always offering flattering portrayals of those that they imitate. Wilde’s Read more

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The Art of Dealing with…Yourself – 11/19/13 TOW

Posted on November 19, 2013 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

I read an article in the most recent Entrepreneur Magazine issue titled “The art of dealing with difficult people.” Although the article was big on attempted humor and small on specifics, I really liked that fact that much of the article had one key focus (and I’m paraphrasing here) – most of the success you have in dealing with difficult people lies in the success you have in dealing with yourself.

Robin and Mary might both have to “deal with” Jeremy – the same ornery or obnoxious (or otherwise aggravating) individual – but Robin deals with him well, and Mary appears to be internally combusting. The reason is largely because Robin deals with the “difficult person” differently or better than Mary.

Maybe it’s just Robin’s natural “way” of handling situations, but maybe she’s more patient, maybe she’s more empathetic of Jeremy, maybe she doesn’t take things personally, or maybe Robin breathes fully in stressful situations. It could be that Robin thinks of the end goal of a conversation and is more intent on the end goal than the often-painful journey.

On the other hand, Mary might go into conversations with Jeremy anticipating a fight, and she gets upset even before the talk begins. Maybe Mary doesn’t know when she’s about to get upset, and it boils over before she realizes what’s happening. Maybe Mary wants to correct every Jeremy misstatement, or maybe she wants to win every battle. Maybe she is just principled and doesn’t think jerks like Jeremy should win.

I’m not saying that the Robins of the world are always right and the Marys are always wrong. Rather, if we want to effectively deal with difficult people, we have to focus more of our efforts on the person in those conversations that we can control – ourselves.

To deal best with others, learn more about yourself first.