Gain Control of the Conversation – 9/16/25

The customer’s angry or upset or they have a complaint.  They’re very chatty or very wordy or they just want to talk to somebody.  You’re on a time crunch, and the customer obviously is not.

There are times when you need to gain control of the conversation.  It’s important for you to do so.  But it’s equally important to understand the difference between controlling the conversation and controlling the customer.

Don’t make it your goal to control the customer.  You have enough to worry about with reading your own emotions and controlling your own reactions and being deliberate in what you say and how to say it.

It’s tough enough to weave in all your knowledge and all the different options and alternatives and all of your experience in order to help the customer without having to figure out how to control the customer.

The Goals

Gaining control of the conversation is something you do to bring the emotional level down, to focus the conversation, to shorten the time you’re engaged with the customer.

With those goals in mind, let’s describe the difference between controlling the conversation and controlling the customer.

How to Gain Control

Controlling the conversation results from asking questions, particularly more closed-ended questions – the yes or no variety, the fact or figure variety.  Controlling occurs when you can intentionally and concisely make a point.  When you can segue from something they say to the decision you need to make.  It’s when you can take their broad ramblings, and get them to focus on a specific piece of information on a worksheet or on your computer.  It’s when you get to the point where you can make the next steps clear and confirm their understanding and agreement.

The next time you’re dealing with that customer who’s upset, or they lack focus, or they want to talk for a long time when you’re more time-constrained, don’t try to control the customer.  Focus on guiding the discussion to an end point.

Gain Control of the Conversation.

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Posted on in Customer Service Tip of the Week

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