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Since a large part of the work we do at CSS includes customer research, we have seen tens of thousands of comments over the years about staff, and it is great to hear the positives that customers, fans, and account holders say about our clients’ team members. One word that Read more

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Avoid These Techniques - 10/21/25


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Be Supportive, Not Defensive - 10/7/25


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Their Tone is “a Tell” – 4/4/17

Posted on April 4, 2017 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment


On March 14 we shared a Tip on how to read a customer’s body language, then how to use that reading to refine your response.

You can do the same thing with the other person’s tone of voice. Whether they’re Angry, Afraid/Anxious, or Sad, the emotions can be conveyed differently through the voice. And some of these emotions require you to respond differently.

Those that are angry typically have these characteristics of their tone of voice:

  • Loud voice
  • Emphasizing every syllable (particularly if loud)
  • Emphasizing negative words
  • Rapid speech
  • Interrupting you
  • Potentially high pitch.

 
Those that are afraid, anxious, or sad typically have these characteristics of their tone of voice:

  • Series of pauses…um’s
  • Talking in a monotone voice
  • Wavering tone
  • Breaks in the strength
  • Potentially rapid speech
  • Potentially high pitch.

 
Along with listening to the other person’s words, listen to their sounds. Pay attention to the detail. It will inform your approach – which is different for anger reduction as opposed to reducing anxiety. It will tell you whether to gain control of the conversation through questions, empathy, and apology (for anger) or whether to build credibility by conveying your experience in working through situations like theirs and creating comfort by clearly describing what needs to happen next to resolve the issue (for anxiety or sadness).

The customer’s “Tell” is the voice – not necessarily just the words. And how should you respond with your own voice in these emotional situations? Keep in mind:

  • Lower and Slower – It’s hard for an irate person to continue to yell at someone speaking softly, and a slower pace reduces the energy in the conversation.
  • Inflect for Interest – They want to feel like you care; convey caring by avoiding the monotone; instead, use periodic inflection when engaging.
  • Key Word Emphasis – Highlight with your voice (with pauses or a slightly modified tone) those specific words that convey understanding, empathy, caring, and key next steps.

 
Always listen to the other person’s words, but also listen to the sounds they convey; the sounds often share the emotions that the words can hide.

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Read their Wordless Emotions – 3/14/17

Posted on March 14, 2017 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment


Consumer research studies have shown that customers who engage employees typically bring 1 of 5 emotions into the conversation: Anger, Fear, Sadness, Contentment, or Happiness.

Let’s focus on the first 3 – the tougher emotions of Anger, Fear, and Sadness. They are very different emotions where – in the first case – the person is angry in general, at something, about something or their situation or an individual.

Fear is often a sense of being worried or panicked about the future, the unknown, the next step.

Sadness often is from a depression or a feeling of helplessness about their situation.

When you’re interacting with others, you deal with them differently based on the emotions they convey. You’ll want to defuse the Angry customers, gain control of the conversations, convey some empathy, possibly apologize, and deliver on a solution. With the Fear and Sadness, you go heavier on the empathy, asking them about themselves, telling them about yourself and your related experience to build their confidence. You’re explicit on what the next steps will be to make the “future” known.

But how do you know what emotion they’re conveying? Well, you can tell often without having to even hear them say a word.

Those that are angry typically have these characteristics of body language:

  • Crossed arms
  • Rolling eyes
  • Rapid movement/gestures
  • Clenched fists
  • Shoulders up
  • Pointing
  • Leaning (too) close in – to your/others’ personal space
  • Furrowed brow.

 
Those that are afraid/sad typically have these characteristics of body language:

  • Little/no eye contact
  • Head shaking while looking at information
  • Fidgeting
  • Sweating
  • Hand over the mouth
  • Blank stares
  • Glassy eyes/tears.

 
Begin reading others through their body language. Before they even say a word, you can gauge their emotions and prepare yourself to respond appropriately.

Read their wordless emotions to respond in the right way.

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‘Got to’ v. ‘Get to’ – 3/7/17

Posted on March 7, 2017 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment


I was at a community collaborative meeting in Charlotte recently, where 100+ representatives of different organizations gathered. They were from local governmental, not-for-profit, and private businesses. Large and small organizations were represented…

As a part of a brief exercise, the meeting facilitator asked everyone to stand and to get into groups of 2-3. She asked them to tell the others in their group one thing that “they have GOT to do this week.” The conversations ensued, and after 4-5 minutes, the facilitator wrapped them up.

Then she asked them to tell the others in their group one thing that “they GET to do this week.” The conversations began, and the energy in the room (and volume!) picked up dramatically.

It was an interesting exercise as a participant and observer. There was a general sense of stress or worry in the first conversation. In the second conversation, there was more laughter, more noise, more smiles, more positive body language.

In a few cases the “Got to” matched the “Get to.” For those people, it’s especially positive to them that what they’ve GOT to do this week is also something that jazzes them and excites them – it’s also something they GET to do.

It’s great if you’re in a job where your “Got to’s” are naturally “Get to’s”, but if you’re not in that situation (or at least you don’t think you’re in that situation), consider a mindset shift.

Instead of “I’ve GOT to talk to this griping customer,” it’s “I GET to bring some sunshine into this person’s day.”

Instead of “I’ve GOT to deal with all these impatient family members waiting at the hospital,” it’s “I GET to offer some comfort and confidence to others.”

What are your “GOT to’s?” Find ways to look at them positively. Find ways to make them “GET to’s.”

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