defuse | Customer Service Solutions, Inc.

One Question to Prevent a Follow-up Call - 3/3/26


The way some performance metrics work, you would think companies would prefer for their staff to talk to the same customer 4 times on the same topic for 8 minutes each rather than talking to them once for 10 minutes.  Many management metrics are too focused on average length Read more

Stay Calm When the Customer Isn’t - 2/24/26


There are all sorts of others’ emotions that you have to deal with as a customer service professional.  The other person could be anxious or upset, they could be angry or agitated.  It can run the gamut of emotions, but for you to deal with them in the best Read more

Don’t Begin with the Dead End in Mind - 2/17/26


Habit #2 of Stephen Covey’s “Seven Habits of Highly Successful People” is “Begin with the End in Mind.”  It speaks to the need to have a clear vision or goal for what you’re trying to ultimately achieve, so you understand the purpose of what you’re doing.  It helps you Read more

Explain without Over Explaining - 2/10/26


The customer has a question, and we have an answer.  They need to learn something, and we’re in the position to be the educator.  There’s a process they have to go through, and we need them to understand. We know so much, and we could impart so much, but sometimes Read more

Look for a Stop Sign - 2/3/26


As a customer service professional, what you say matters.  The information you’re providing is useful.  The direction you’re giving the other person is helpful.  But... As you’re speaking, you also need to be reading.  Reading the other person.  Watching the customer, determining whether and how they’re receiving what you’re sharing.  Read more

When They Want the Supervisor - 1/27/26


Maybe you did your best with the customer, or maybe the customer didn’t even give you a chance.  They want to talk to your supervisor.  They see you, notice your title does not have “supervisor” or “manager” or “director” or “President and CEO” in it, so they want to Read more

Identify Your Point of Empathy - 1/20/26


I was watching a webinar recently on empathy.  The speaker mentioned that empathy - to a large extent - is something that you are born with.  It’s something that’s very difficult to learn.  And while I agree that some people are predisposed to being empathetic and understanding of others Read more

Pressure is a Privilege, but... - 1/13/26


When athletes are asked about the pressure of a playoff match or a late-game situation, many times they will say that “pressure is a privilege.”  In other words, usually pressure exists because you’re in a match that matters most.  It exists because you are a player put in a Read more

While I’ve Got You on the Phone… - 1/6/26


I’m a big planner.  Whether it’s strategic planning or planning out the year or planning my week first thing on a Monday morning, I like to plan.  I do this because it gets all of my action items documented and ensures that I have some understanding of what I Read more

Pass the Quick Impression Test - 12/30/25


Some studies have shown that people create an impression of you in less than a second when they first meet you face-to-face.  Other studies have shown that that initial impression can take up to 7 seconds.  Regardless, first impressions are quick.  First impressions are not always the lasting impression, Read more

Stay Calm When the Customer Isn’t – 2/24/26

Posted on in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

There are all sorts of others’ emotions that you have to deal with as a customer service professional.  The other person could be anxious or upset, they could be angry or agitated.  It can run the gamut of emotions, but for you to deal with them in the best way possible as well as maintain a good mental state in the heat of the moment, it helps if you can stay calm even when the customer isn’t.

I’m not going to talk more about why it’s so important for you to stay calm; let’s just skip to “The How.”

Breathing deeply is hugely beneficial.  But you need to be intentional about your breaths – in slowly and deeply, hold for a second or two, and then out.  Not too loud because you don’t want to sound exasperated – just deep and slow.  This method helps the body to relax, get the pulse rate down, and the consideration of your breath (thinking about your breathing) helps your mind to relax.

Good self-talk is a wonderful thing in these situations.  Tell yourself that their emotions are not about you, they’re about the situation.  Tell yourself that you want to help this person.  Get in the right frame of mind so that your focus is helping this unique person in this – to them – unique situation.

Write down their comments – the “old time” paper/pencil works.  It gives you a focus on a stagnant piece of paper instead of focusing on an agitated customer.  Writing their comments forces you to focus on facts and documentation.  If you mix looks at the paper with looks at the customer, they’ll feel you’re considering what they’re saying is important.  Oh!  And it helps to literally tell them that you’re taking notes because what they’re saying is important.  Let them see your notes – you have nothing to hide; you’re just writing down their words.

When you’re dealing with that emotional customer, to gear down your own emotions, focus on breathing, positive self-talk, and documenting the facts so that you can move that customer more quickly toward a solution.

Stay calm when the customer isn’t.

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When They Want the Supervisor – 1/27/26

Posted on in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

Maybe you did your best with the customer, or maybe the customer didn’t even give you a chance.  They want to talk to your supervisor.  They see you, notice your title does not have “supervisor” or “manager” or “director” or “President and CEO” in it, so they want to go up the ladder.

Different organizations have different protocols for handling these situations, and they often involve wanting you to handle this on your own – to do whatever you can to avoid the escalation.

But sometimes, despite your best efforts (or the customer just being obstinate), you have no choice.  Now let me throw in a wrinkle.  Your supervisor’s not available at that moment.  What do you do?

No Supervisor?  No Problem

First, explain the issue with the supervisor availability, offer some empathy with your not being able to give them the exact person they want to talk to at that moment.  But let them know you want to do the best you can to help them.

Second, if you haven’t done so already, clarify the rationale for the request.  What is their issue?  What is their goal?

Third, confirm your understanding of what they’ve shared.

Finally, share an alternative…or two!  Offer another party that they could speak with; offer to have the supervisor contact them back at a time when the customer is likely to be available.

Why Use this Process

This process helps you defuse the situation, which could get even worse once they realize the supervisor is not available.  You get the details you need to pass on to whomever is going to address this next.  You provide some empathy and understanding so that they know they’re being heard and that the information they’re giving you won’t have to be repeated to the person they talk to next. 

Then, by coming up with an alternative or two to consider, you’re actually putting the choice in their hands.  You’re giving them some control.  Yes, that can be risky, but you’re giving them control over a decision where you have provided options that you know are doable.

When they want the unavailable supervisor: Defuse, get details, empathize, and give them some control.

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Avoid These Techniques – 10/21/25

Posted on in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

We had a Customer Service Tip of the Week recently that addressed gaining control of the conversation.  One of the key points was that the focus should be on gaining control of conversations in various circumstances, but trying to avoid making it your goal to gain control of the customer.

I’ve witnessed many employees try to control the customer – both in simple service situations and when the customer is emotional or upset.  It often does not end well for either party.

So, what is the employee doing when they are trying to control the customer?  Here are a few quick examples of poor approaches or techniques:

  • Interrupting or speaking over the customer – especially while raising the voice.
  • Aggressively moving toward the customer.
  • Maintaining eye contact…with the computer – never visually acknowledging the customer.
  • Talking continuously, and sometimes rapidly, leaving little air in the conversation for the customer to speak.
  • Never asking the customer a question.
  • Swearing at the customer (yes, I’ve seen some horrible customer service!).
  • Trying to shut them down by intellectually using dismissive phrases like “your idea won’t work” or “you don’t understand how this…” or “this is too technical to describe to you.”

 
Addressing customers in this manner often heightens their emotions, results in them asking to talk with your manager, leads to bad word-of-mouth, and can be the cause of a lost customer.

In these customer service tips, we usually try to focus on positive examples of what to do rather than negative examples of what not to do.  However, it’s helpful to illustrate how we can come across as trying to control the customer.  And no customer wants to feel like they’re being controlled.  They want to feel like they’re being helped and supported.

Avoid These Techniques.

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