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Don’t Harp on the Customer’s Mistake - 6/24/25


Seth’s daughter, Sarah, had missed some swim classes, and Seth remembered that the aquatics center had several make-up classes available late in the summer.  So Seth pulled up the class schedule on his phone, found one that worked on his and Sarah’s schedules, and planned to attend a session Read more

Create Customers for Life - 6/17/25


Veronica has gone to the same automotive service shop for at least 20 years.  She bought a new car about a year ago, and this is the third car she’s brought to the shop instead of taking her car to the dealer where she bought it.  She’s had three Read more

Don’t Turn the Customer into the QA Department - 6/10/25


Roberta received a form with information filled in by the company after her conversation with the account rep.  Roberta just needed to review the information, fill in some of the blanks, sign it, and resend it in order to set up a new account. She noticed that the effective date Read more

Imitate to Improve - 6/3/25


Oscar Wilde said that “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”  Now this doesn’t mean that plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery.  Nor does it mean that great impersonators such as Rich Little, Dana Carvey, or Frank Caliendo are always offering flattering portrayals of those that they imitate. Wilde’s Read more

How the Customer Perceives a Truth as a Lie - 5/27/25


You’re the customer, you’re asking about an unused item that you’re returning, and you hear the employee say: “The refund process takes 7-10 days.”  You’re thinking: “Great!  I can get the refund check as early as a week from today!”  The reality is that the company means that they’ll Read more

Tell Customers What’s Next - 5/20/25


In most businesses that have been around for a while, how a process was originally designed is not how it currently operates.  Sometimes this change is referred to as “practical drift,” where the actual process moves further and further away from the documented steps over time.  Maybe the changes Read more

Questions to Guide You to Empathy - 5/13/25


“If I was him, I would do ABC…” If you’ve ever heard somebody say this - whether it’s a friend or acquaintance, whether it’s some TV reporter or podcaster - you may get as frustrated or as annoyed as I do. I get annoyed because we are not that other person. Read more

Negate the Nervousness - 5/6/25


The customer needed a loan, so he walked into the bank, but he was a little nervous.  He knew that launching his business would be easier if he had some working capital, but that’s about all he knew.  He was anxious because he didn’t know what to expect in Read more

Don’t Rush to Resolve Quickly - 4/29/25


The customer is angry, so you use the CSS LEAD technique as designed.  You, listen, empathize, accept responsibility, and deliver on a remedy.  But it doesn’t work.  The customer is still upset, and maybe even a little more frustrated than when you started…why?! If the use of this technique fails, Read more

Energy v. Apathy - 4/22/25


I asked a couple friends who are much more scientifically-oriented the question: What is energy?  I didn’t mean E=MC2.  I meant physiologically, what is energy? They described a lot of things that sounded really good, yet far too advanced for my non-medical mind. Part of the reason why energy is of Read more

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It’s Not You, It’s Them – 7/13/21

Posted on July 13, 2021 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

George Costanza – from the Seinfeld television sitcom – broke up with someone he was dating and told her “It’s not you, it’s me.”  It’s a famous line, and I’ve heard it used many times in humor, but I have a customer service twist on that comedic line.

It’s not you, it’s them.

If you’ve worked in a customer service role long enough, and by long enough I mean even just 3-6 months, you have probably dealt with the same complaint but in two totally different situations.  You could have Fred the customer walk into a store or call you on the phone, and there is a problem with his account.  He calmly describes the issue, and you deliver great service and work with him on a solution.

At some other point in time, Matt is the one who walks in; he’s the one who gets you on the phone.  Unfortunately, he has the exact same complaint about his account.  But instead of calmly describing the issue and working with you, he is ranting and raving!  He is blaming everyone under the stars, particularly you.  His tone is inflamed, and before you can even try to help him, you have to figure out how to calm him down and get the information you need to provide the support.

These are two different customers presenting the exact same issue.  One comes in calm, looking for resolution, and the other comes in like a raving lunatic.

Their negative emotion is not about you; it’s about them.  Even if the negative emotion is directed at you, it is about them.  Even if some of the pointed words are toward you, it is about them.

I’m not saying that the highly emotional complaining customers don’t have a right to complain.  Sure they do.  I’m not saying that the company is absolved of any responsibility for issues they cause.  Of course the company is responsible.

But what I am saying is that it’s much easier for us to handle these situations if we can handle our emotions…if we don’t get defensive…if we don’t take things so personally.  And one way we can do that is to realize that we have had customers with the same issue before who have been calm, have been rational, who have looked to work with us to a resolution.

And if we realize we have been blessed with these collaborative customers, then we can also realize that if somebody comes in with the same issue in a totally off-the-wall manner, their emotion is not our fault.

We should try to do whatever we can to help them and move the conversation forward and resolve the issue, and one of the best ways we can do that is to realize that the emotion is not about us.  It’s about them.

It’s Not You, It’s Them.

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Use Your Customer Service Freedoms – 7/6/21

Posted on July 6, 2021 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

We’re only a couple days past Independence Day here in the United States.  So it may be a good time for us in the customer service world to think about our freedoms, to think about what we have the liberties to do, to reinforce how this all plays out with our work lives and our interactions with co-workers and customers.

Freedom does not necessarily mean we can do anything we want irrespective of the consequences, but freedom does convey that we have options.  We have choices.  And in those customer service Moments of Truth, these choices can often impact us as much as they impact those that we’re serving.

  • When somebody comes at us negatively, we can’t always control our initial emotional reaction, but we can control how we respond in the situation.
  • When we don’t know the answer, we have the choice to dump the responsibility for finding the answer back on the customer, simply sharing that we don’t know, or sharing that we don’t know but taking the initiative to find out.
  • When we are made aware of a process or communication or service issue, we can address the issue for that one customer and just leave it there. Alternatively, we can at least determine whether this was a 1-time occurrence or whether this could happen 100 times in 100 days to 100 different customers.
  • We have the choice to come into work and complain all day long to co-workers, or we can come into work to encourage each other and try to look for the good in the day.
  • We have the choice to feel like the entire decision and responsibility has to be only on our own shoulders, or we can seek the opinions and guidance of others.
  • We have the choice to ignore e-mails and voice mails until the person follows up 2 or 3 times, or we can choose to respond on a timely basis.

 
We are often put in bad situations in customer service.  Many of these rough situations are not of our doing; they are not our fault.  But that doesn’t mean we are left without choices.  That doesn’t mean we are left without freedoms.  If anything, in these situations there is so much more to consider and potentially do in order to manage our own emotions, build others up, or do what’s within our authority and our capabilities to make a difference.

Use your freedoms in such a way that the company, the customers, and you, yourself, have better days.

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It’s NOT about the Cinnamon – 12/15/20

Posted on December 15, 2020 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

It was happening again.  Jessica had just handed the freshly made concoction to her coffee shop customer, and less than a minute later, the customer was in Jessica’s face, red as a beet, ranting and raving:  I specifically asked for extra cinnamon on top!  Does this look like extra cinnamon?!  I think not!

Jessica immediately was shocked at the customer’s reaction, but after a couple seconds settled into the encounter.  She had experienced this many times before from customers.  Maybe she or staff got the order a little bit wrong, or maybe they got it entirely right, but the customer wasn’t satisfied.  And while she appreciated customers letting her know if something wasn’t done perfectly, sometimes how the customers shared their concerns went overboard.  The rant did not justify the reason for the rant.

But Jessica had a little mantra she told herself.  And in this case, she repeated it to herself as the customer ranted:  It’s not about the cinnamon, Jessica.  It’s not about the cinnamon, Jessica.

Jessica knew that if customers went overboard about something, that overreaction was rarely just about the issue being discussed.  Maybe the issue precipitated the interaction, but the overreaction told Jessica that there was something else going on with this customer.  Maybe the customer was having a bad day.  Maybe they were late for work or had been cussed out by their boss.  Maybe they were tired of the 15 Zoom calls they had had that week and just needed to vent.

It could be something bigger picture going on in their lives that was creating stress or strain or the need for a release. Jessica kept her emotions in line by realizing why the customer was out of line.

Sometimes when dealing with difficult customers, the hardest thing to do is to deal with our own emotional reaction to those difficult customers.  And when those customers are being unreasonable or going overboard in their reactions, it helps for us to understand, it’s not all about us.  It’s not all about our process, our product, or our people.

Sometimes people deal with issues in their own lives by transferring those feelings and overreacting to other things with other people.  It doesn’t make the negative emotions that you and I have to deal with okay, but understanding this may help us when managing our own emotions.

It helps us to remember…it’s not about the cinnamon.

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