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Look for a Stop Sign - 2/3/26


As a customer service professional, what you say matters.  The information you’re providing is useful.  The direction you’re giving the other person is helpful.  But... As you’re speaking, you also need to be reading.  Reading the other person.  Watching the customer, determining whether and how they’re receiving what you’re sharing.  Read more

When They Want the Supervisor - 1/27/26


Maybe you did your best with the customer, or maybe the customer didn’t even give you a chance.  They want to talk to your supervisor.  They see you, notice your title does not have “supervisor” or “manager” or “director” or “President and CEO” in it, so they want to Read more

Identify Your Point of Empathy - 1/20/26


I was watching a webinar recently on empathy.  The speaker mentioned that empathy - to a large extent - is something that you are born with.  It’s something that’s very difficult to learn.  And while I agree that some people are predisposed to being empathetic and understanding of others Read more

Pressure is a Privilege, but... - 1/13/26


When athletes are asked about the pressure of a playoff match or a late-game situation, many times they will say that “pressure is a privilege.”  In other words, usually pressure exists because you’re in a match that matters most.  It exists because you are a player put in a Read more

While I’ve Got You on the Phone… - 1/6/26


I’m a big planner.  Whether it’s strategic planning or planning out the year or planning my week first thing on a Monday morning, I like to plan.  I do this because it gets all of my action items documented and ensures that I have some understanding of what I Read more

Pass the Quick Impression Test - 12/30/25


Some studies have shown that people create an impression of you in less than a second when they first meet you face-to-face.  Other studies have shown that that initial impression can take up to 7 seconds.  Regardless, first impressions are quick.  First impressions are not always the lasting impression, Read more

2025 Holiday Poem - 12/23/25


We hear the word change And that change can be good, But we like things to stay same, And sometimes they should.   The weather can be wet And then dry as a bone. We know things will change, Even if all left alone.   Our customers change. Our co-workers do, too. It seems like our resources Are often too few.   The technology Read more

Make the Long Wait Feel Shorter - 12/16/25


When Greg entered the Tax Office, he was thinking only about two things: (1) How he was going to get the tax value on his home reduced, and (2) Whether the wait would be 1 hour or 2.  He checked in with the navigator who asked a few questions, Read more

When Kindness Means More in Customer Service - 12/9/25


Since a large part of the work we do at CSS includes customer research, we have seen tens of thousands of comments over the years about staff, and it is great to hear the positives that customers, fans, and account holders say about our clients’ team members. One word that Read more

Don’t Create the Second Complaint - 12/2/25


Maria was upset.  Rightfully so.  The product delivery was delayed, she couldn’t get anybody on the phone, and nobody would reply to her e-mails.  So, she went down to the store, and she found a customer service representative. After the initial greeting, the employee listened to Maria’s complaint.  While Maria Read more

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What to do When You’re in the Middle – 1/24/23

Posted on January 24, 2023 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

Bob and Sarah are arguing, and you’re in the middle.  Bob’s an employee, and Sarah is a customer, and they have a difference of opinion.  Somehow you’re involved even though you didn’t have anything to do with the interaction in question, the complaint being addressed.  You find yourself being the moderator, the mediator, the facilitator.

CSS does a tremendous amount of facilitation work, and it’s not just facilitating disagreements between customers and employees.  Usually it’s facilitation of groups where you have various stakeholders meeting, and they all have their own particular interest or position.

The key phrase we use when facilitating conversations like this is Healthy, Productive, and Effective.  You want Healthy conversation, where the discussion is about the issue or the goal, not the individuals involved.  Make sure people don’t make it personal or take it personal.

Productive means you try to stay on task.  Everybody understands up front what the goal is and how much time we have to discuss it, and those things that are not pertinent are identified and put on a “parking lot” for future reference.

Effective means starting with the end in mind and keeping a focus on that end.  The end is the goal.  It’s not the process to get to the goal.  People can get stuck in their specific solution or the process to get to that solution, but you just want them to think about the goal.  The more you can get them to focus on a common goal, the better chance you have of getting them there.  The more they fixate on their solution or their position or how they want to get there, the more difficult it’s going to be for you to be effective and for participants to get to their goal.

The next time you find yourself in the middle of an argument or a meeting between Bob and Sarah, identify a common goal up front.  Try not to get people focused on their position.  Make the conversation about the goal and not about the personalities involved.  Identify the time constraints, and professionally move the tangents to the parking lot.

Facilitate effectively when you find yourself in the middle.

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