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Gain Control of the Conversation - 9/16/25


The customer’s angry or upset or they have a complaint.  They’re very chatty or very wordy or they just want to talk to somebody.  You’re on a time crunch, and the customer obviously is not. There are times when you need to gain control of the conversation.  It’s important for Read more

Complement with a Compliment - 9/9/25


We perform many tasks for our customers every day, and when we’re done with a step in the process, oftentimes we will tell the customer what’s been done.  But if we want to create more of a WOW experience, if we want to make the customer feel a little Read more

When Patience Begets Patience - 9/2/25


Jennifer, the server, walked toward the couple in the restaurant.  The customers had been seated for a minute or two, and they noticed the server was walking briskly toward their table.  Jennifer recognized the couple she was about to serve, because they had been in the previous week. Since the Read more

Address the Expectations that Were Set - 8/26/25


Before the caller ever got to Marco – the customer service representative, the customer had been working with the company for months.  They had read the marketing brochures, had a conversation with a sales rep, reviewed the new customer information on the website, and read all the information e-mailed Read more

When Technology Fails the Customer - 8/19/25


Technology is a wonderful thing…until it isn’t.  The website is down, the mobile app won’t work, the system keeps kicking them out of their account, or they received a spoofing phone call supposedly from your department. If you’ve ever been manning the phones or managing the department inbox, you know Read more

The Misunderstood Physician - 8/12/25


I was speaking with one of my personal physicians years ago, and when we were talking about my work – particularly customer satisfaction research - he started talking about online physician ratings.  He lamented that a few low ratings were dinging his overall score.  Then he shared that the Read more

Uncover Silent Concerns - 8/5/25


One of the customer service statistics we have quoted many times over the years is:  For every complaint you do hear, there could be 26 other customer issues that you don’t hear. And when we bring up that statistic, we bring it up because we want to make sure companies Read more

Talk Yourself Up to Take Down Their Anxiety - 7/29/25


I believe that most customer service people are pretty humble, so I’m not asking you to lose your humility.  But I do have one ask of you… When that customer is anxious or nervous, when they fear the future because the future is unknown or it could be laced with Read more

Use Little Acts to Make a Big Impact - 7/22/25


A WOW Experience is not always one instance, one act that blows away the customer.  It’s not always an over-the-top-the-employee-saved-the-day act of brilliance.  Sometimes a WOW is the sum total of a series of little things that others don’t do – those actions that differentiate you from others.  The Read more

Avoid Some Stress by Addressing Issues Quickly - 7/15/25


It’s good customer service to resolve issues quickly.  The customer sees the light at the end of the tunnel.  They more quickly bring their anxiety and stress, their negative emotions down.  And they more quickly get to a solution. But this tip is not about them.  This tip is about Read more

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Gain Control of the Conversation – 9/16/25

Posted on September 16, 2025 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

The customer’s angry or upset or they have a complaint.  They’re very chatty or very wordy or they just want to talk to somebody.  You’re on a time crunch, and the customer obviously is not.

There are times when you need to gain control of the conversation.  It’s important for you to do so.  But it’s equally important to understand the difference between controlling the conversation and controlling the customer.

Don’t make it your goal to control the customer.  You have enough to worry about with reading your own emotions and controlling your own reactions and being deliberate in what you say and how to say it.

It’s tough enough to weave in all your knowledge and all the different options and alternatives and all of your experience in order to help the customer without having to figure out how to control the customer.

The Goals

Gaining control of the conversation is something you do to bring the emotional level down, to focus the conversation, to shorten the time you’re engaged with the customer.

With those goals in mind, let’s describe the difference between controlling the conversation and controlling the customer.

How to Gain Control

Controlling the conversation results from asking questions, particularly more closed-ended questions – the yes or no variety, the fact or figure variety.  Controlling occurs when you can intentionally and concisely make a point.  When you can segue from something they say to the decision you need to make.  It’s when you can take their broad ramblings, and get them to focus on a specific piece of information on a worksheet or on your computer.  It’s when you get to the point where you can make the next steps clear and confirm their understanding and agreement.

The next time you’re dealing with that customer who’s upset, or they lack focus, or they want to talk for a long time when you’re more time-constrained, don’t try to control the customer.  Focus on guiding the discussion to an end point.

Gain Control of the Conversation.

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It’s Not About the 5-Minute Wait – 3/12/24

Posted on March 12, 2024 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

Robert went into his supervisor’s office to update her on a situation at the payment desk.  Robert said that a customer was about fourth or fifth in line, waiting to be served, and the customer was complaining loudly about the wait.  He was there to make a property tax payment, had been standing there for 5 minutes, and the line had not hardly moved.

The supervisor, Janice, came out of her office, saw the customer, and listened to him from a distance for about 10 seconds. Janice turned to Robert and said:  It’s not about the 5-minute wait.

Robert and Janice walked up to the customer to speak with him, and they took the customer to the side, away from the rest of the group. They chatted with him about his situation, and Janice was right.

The customer had to be at work in 15 minutes, and he was a 15-minute drive from his job. He was going to be late.

His mapping app on his phone had directed him to the right building, but the parking spaces were full. So, he had to find another parking area – which was a block away.  That took five more minutes of driving and a 6-7 minute walk to get to the building.

The man lived 20 minutes from this building, so, he had left his home a long time ago to get to this location on time, to make his payment on time, and to get to his job on time.

He actually had to make the payment in person, because the County’s web payment portal was down, and the payment was due today.

Robert just assumed it was an impatient customer raising a ruckus.  Janice didn’t make any assumptions, and – after witnessing the customer from afar for a few seconds – she was pretty sure something else was going on.

When a customer is making a big deal about something that doesn’t seem so big, consider that maybe it’s not about the 5-minute wait.  Show a willingness to ask, listen, and learn.

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Perpetuate Positivity with the Customer – 5/9/23

Posted on May 9, 2023 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

We’ve written many Tips on how to deal with various negative customer emotions.  Those emotions could reflect anger, fear of the unknown, upset, anxiety, or nervousness.  But instead of talking today about how to deal with their negative emotions, let’s talk about how to engender some positive emotions.

We want our customers to be happy.  We like when they’re content.  They’re usually more supportive and understanding, less argumentative and less questioning when they have that happiness, they have that contentment.

For Contentment, scientific studies have shown that one key to contentment is for somebody to feel fulfilled or feel at peace.  From a service standpoint, a customer has more of a feeling of fulfillment if they got their needs met, so professionally reinforce when a need was met.  They can be more at peace if they shared their concern, they enjoyed the conversation, and they know what will happen next.

For Happiness, there are strong correlations between happiness and people being pleased, filled with joy, or enthusiastic.  People who are happy tend to have been encouraged and are hopeful.  So, how do we help engender happiness?

Tell them when they do something well.  Tell them the types of positive outcomes that can happen with them, just as they have happened with other customers in similar situations.  Provide some hope of what good could transpire.  Reinforce what’s already been accomplished so that they are pleased, and give it with some positive energy to impart your enthusiasm on the customer.

When interacting with your customers, use proactive tools to impart positivity.

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