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When to Avoid the Escalation - 6/16/26


The customer calls with a complaint, and the easy thing to do is to escalate it to your supervisor. That may also be the right thing to do, but how do you know when to avoid the escalation? Why You Would Escalate The first thing to consider is why you would Read more

Let’s be Clear on Clarity - 6/9/26


When trying to manage expectations, it’s vital to be clear with the customer.  But what specifically does it mean to be “clear?” Clarity is in the eyes and ears of the beholder, so what may be clear to one customer may be unclear to another.  However, there are some basic Read more

Allow Yourself to Solve a Couple Puzzles Every Day - 6/2/26


Frank had never been a dog owner before, and when he first got Bosco at the shelter, Frank didn't really know what he was doing.  He would try to be a good parent - feed the dog, play with it, take it on walks - but he was doing Read more

Improve with a Purpose - 5/26/26


If you’re reading these customer service tips, you likely want to get better.  You want an idea, a technique, a reinforcement, or a question that helps you improve. But why improve? At some point you may waver on the commitment to improve, because it can take effort, introspection, time, and change.  Read more

Reciprocate the Thanks - 5/19/26


Jasmine had a great experience with the company, and the company sent her a link to provide an online evaluation following the visit.  So, she clicked the link, gave a rating, and made a comment about her experience. The company monitored their online reviews, saw the positive response, and replied Read more

Don’t Skip the Recap - 5/12/26


The playoff hockey game goes on for almost 3 hours.  There’s non-stop action, with plenty of penalties and takeaways and hits against the boards…and a few goals, as well. You didn’t get to watch the whole game because you had other plans, but you wanted to know what happened.  So, Read more

Finalize the Solution with the 6 Step Checklist - 5/5/26


In last week’s Tip, we showed why and how to Use the 6 Step Checklist before Resolving the Issue.  We noted the importance of taking 15 seconds to mentally walk through the Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How to feel confident that you know what’s needed to fix Read more

Use the 6 Step Checklist before Resolving the Issue - 4/28/26


We talk about trying to resolve the issue right the first time, sharing the technique on how to manage the conversation to get clarity on the real issue, need, or goal, and confirming your understanding before moving forward. But what are you trying to clarify?  What are you trying to Read more

Use the Customer’s Words - 4/21/26


The customer is describing a problem on what they call their “computer.” They mentioned that the “screen” doesn’t “move from one page to the other.” They say that the “website’s name is typed at the top,” and it says sample.com with a “line, and then it says ‘home’ after Read more

Affirming the Customer with Empathy - 4/14/26


We’ve spoken and written about empathy for the 20+ years of these customer service tips, noting empathy as the most important quality any individual can have if they want to be great at customer service.  We’ve shared that - in order to serve our customers most effectively – it’s Read more

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Are You in a Position? – 5/2/23

Posted on May 2, 2023 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

Last week’s Tip compared Perspectives and Positions, and we noted that when people have a perspective on a given topic or issue, that’s often useful.  However, when people are more focused on their position, things can get testy.

One topic we didn’t fully address last week was the definition of Position.  Using a military analogy to define position, think about old war movies where soldiers dig a trench.  They’re taking up a position.  They hunker down in the trench, raise up to shoot at the opposition, and then they duck back into the trench.  Trenches don’t move.  The battle can take a long time, and they typically don’t advance until the opposition dies or they retreat.  They’re stuck.

Here are some other, more business-oriented examples of taking a position:

Mine is More Important: I facilitated a community group that was addressing how to best use funds from a national settlement.  Funds were to be used to address a community health issue.  There were over 20 members of the group, and – initially – each of them thought that their cause or solution deserved the majority of the funding.  There were 20 different positions.

Date Conflict: One employee said their draft report would be ready on Thursday.  The other employee told their teammate that it needed to be done on Wednesday.

The Full Refund: An event attendee wanted a full refund for the costs of their tickets to the sporting event that had a long weather delay.  The policy stated that there were no full refunds.

These are three very different examples, but they have one commonality – they all start with people taking a position.

Even though the starting point might be the position, just like in the military analogy, if we maintain those positions, the battle will go on for a long time.  People might fire shots at the other until one person, one position gets beaten down, or the other retreats.

Remember these examples to recognize quickly when someone is taking a position, so you can redirect and – instead – identify common goals.  This could save yourself and the other person from unnecessary arguments, negative emotions, and wasted time.

Recognize when you (or they) are in a position.

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De-escalating Conflict in Customer Service – 4/25/23

Posted on April 25, 2023 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

Conflict can be very healthy and productive.  You and your customer are taking different perspectives, but if you have the same goal and you focus on what you’re trying to accomplish, the different perspectives may lead to an interesting approach or a mutually-beneficial solution.

If the decision was up to us, we might have one solution.  If the decision was up to the customer, they might have a second solution – and neither solution may work for the other.  But maybe there’s a 3rd or 4th or 5th solution – some of which may be workable for both.  Those solutions are determined through Healthy Conflict – leveraging the different perspectives and opinions to get to collective solutions.

Perspectives v. Positions

Where differences exist, conflict is often uncomfortable.  Unfortunately, when people have different perspectives, they can turn into different positions.  And when we start focusing on our position, that’s when our negative passions can rise, and the conversation can become personal.  It can overshadow the main issue or what potential solutions may exist for the situation.

Healthy Conflict v. Combat

So here are some ways to de-escalate conflict so it doesn’t become combat:

Avoid You: Focus on the specific issue, trying to talk less about the people involved and talk more about the process, the policy, the product, the facility.  Avoid the use of the word You to avoid making things personal, and try not to take comments too personally.

Set the Goal: Identify a common goal – even if it’s somewhat general.  It’s easier to determine a common solution if you focus on what you’re trying to accomplish in the end.

Be Self-aware: Be cognizant of tone and body language as you’re sharing the words, as these affect the emotions as much or more than what is actually being said.

Empathize: Get on the same side of the table with them, even literally at times.  Provide empathy, conveying some understanding of their perspective, asking questions and listening rather than interrupting or talking over the other person.

As we’ve often said, it’s much easier and quicker to deal with issues if negative emotion is not involved.

Deescalate conflict in customer service.

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When Conflict is Good – 9/27/16

Posted on September 27, 2016 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment


Blake and Mary were in a heated discussion at work. The rest of the people in the meeting were a little uncomfortable, and they squirmed in their chairs. As the dialogue got more quiet, others began to chime-in – everybody adding their own “two cents,” and then there was quiet for about five seconds.

Jennifer – the team leader – then said, “So based on what I’ve heard, the best option for the customer and our growing workload is to go with Option B, but we’re going to delay the launch until February 1st. Is that what we have agreed to and will support?”

Everybody nodded their heads. Blake said “definitely.” Mary said “that works well.”

There was conflict. There was debate. There were multiple people in the room coming in from all different perspectives. It was uncomfortable. It was emotional.

And it was great!

Conflict can be good, especially when a team at work is debating a course of action to take, and they’re trying to make the best decision possible. Conflict is healthy, especially when that “best decision” is the focal point of conversation, and the debate doesn’t attack the individuals. Instead, it’s an important discussion of issues and ideas, of solutions and decisions.

And it’s not boring.

Do you want interesting and collaborative discussions – conversations that end with the best decision possible?

Then embrace healthy conflict. Embrace the right kind of debate that leads to the best solution.

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