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View Quality through the Customer’s Eyes - 10/14/25


Geri had been dealing with backups in the downstairs plumbing system of her house on and off for the past year.  The most recent company that she called in to unclog the pipes stated that they could send a camera down the pipes and tell her exactly where the Read more

Be Supportive, Not Defensive - 10/7/25


[An employee on the phone with a customer…] Who told you that you didn’t have to submit that form? … Bob?  Oh brother!  You see Bob is our “special” co-worker.  He seems to always tell customers the wrong thing to do, and we’re having to clean up after him.  Read more

Some Customers LOVE Predictability - 9/30/25


I was facilitating focus groups of businesses that utilize local government services.  The phrase that popped up multiple times was “Time Is Money!”  What these municipal customers were conveying was that their time was valuable, and delays were wasting their time.  But the conversations were not just about how Read more

Find Your Special Sauce - 9/23/25


When I watch a football game and I see a great quarterback (somebody who may be considered a “Star”), he might be an excellent runner, have a big arm, be able to diagnose the defense and get his team into the right play.  But he’s likely not great at Read more

Gain Control of the Conversation - 9/16/25


The customer’s angry or upset or they have a complaint.  They’re very chatty or very wordy or they just want to talk to somebody.  You’re on a time crunch, and the customer obviously is not. There are times when you need to gain control of the conversation.  It’s important for Read more

Complement with a Compliment - 9/9/25


We perform many tasks for our customers every day, and when we’re done with a step in the process, oftentimes we will tell the customer what’s been done.  But if we want to create more of a WOW experience, if we want to make the customer feel a little Read more

When Patience Begets Patience - 9/2/25


Jennifer, the server, walked toward the couple in the restaurant.  The customers had been seated for a minute or two, and they noticed the server was walking briskly toward their table.  Jennifer recognized the couple she was about to serve, because they had been in the previous week. Since the Read more

Address the Expectations that Were Set - 8/26/25


Before the caller ever got to Marco – the customer service representative, the customer had been working with the company for months.  They had read the marketing brochures, had a conversation with a sales rep, reviewed the new customer information on the website, and read all the information e-mailed Read more

When Technology Fails the Customer - 8/19/25


Technology is a wonderful thing…until it isn’t.  The website is down, the mobile app won’t work, the system keeps kicking them out of their account, or they received a spoofing phone call supposedly from your department. If you’ve ever been manning the phones or managing the department inbox, you know Read more

The Misunderstood Physician - 8/12/25


I was speaking with one of my personal physicians years ago, and when we were talking about my work – particularly customer satisfaction research - he started talking about online physician ratings.  He lamented that a few low ratings were dinging his overall score.  Then he shared that the Read more

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It’s Not You, It’s Them – 7/13/21

Posted on July 13, 2021 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

George Costanza – from the Seinfeld television sitcom – broke up with someone he was dating and told her “It’s not you, it’s me.”  It’s a famous line, and I’ve heard it used many times in humor, but I have a customer service twist on that comedic line.

It’s not you, it’s them.

If you’ve worked in a customer service role long enough, and by long enough I mean even just 3-6 months, you have probably dealt with the same complaint but in two totally different situations.  You could have Fred the customer walk into a store or call you on the phone, and there is a problem with his account.  He calmly describes the issue, and you deliver great service and work with him on a solution.

At some other point in time, Matt is the one who walks in; he’s the one who gets you on the phone.  Unfortunately, he has the exact same complaint about his account.  But instead of calmly describing the issue and working with you, he is ranting and raving!  He is blaming everyone under the stars, particularly you.  His tone is inflamed, and before you can even try to help him, you have to figure out how to calm him down and get the information you need to provide the support.

These are two different customers presenting the exact same issue.  One comes in calm, looking for resolution, and the other comes in like a raving lunatic.

Their negative emotion is not about you; it’s about them.  Even if the negative emotion is directed at you, it is about them.  Even if some of the pointed words are toward you, it is about them.

I’m not saying that the highly emotional complaining customers don’t have a right to complain.  Sure they do.  I’m not saying that the company is absolved of any responsibility for issues they cause.  Of course the company is responsible.

But what I am saying is that it’s much easier for us to handle these situations if we can handle our emotions…if we don’t get defensive…if we don’t take things so personally.  And one way we can do that is to realize that we have had customers with the same issue before who have been calm, have been rational, who have looked to work with us to a resolution.

And if we realize we have been blessed with these collaborative customers, then we can also realize that if somebody comes in with the same issue in a totally off-the-wall manner, their emotion is not our fault.

We should try to do whatever we can to help them and move the conversation forward and resolve the issue, and one of the best ways we can do that is to realize that the emotion is not about us.  It’s about them.

It’s Not You, It’s Them.

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Respond to Negativity in Kind, or Respond Kindly – 6/1/21

Posted on June 1, 2021 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.  It seems like that’s what makes the world go ‘round nowadays.  You yell at me, and I yell at you.  Then you yell louder, and I yell louder.  And all that cacophony just pushes us further and further apart.

In customer service, we’re not looking for opportunities to push the other person away.  We’re looking for opportunities to work with our co-worker, to work with our customer.

Sometimes through no fault of our own, these conversations or interactions start with the other person being negative, or they are being vocal – and not in a pleasant way.  They’re griping and complaining and quickly firing criticisms our way.

And it’s easy for us to get defensive, to get our back up, and to respond in kind.  We raise our voice.  We criticize them.  We get into a debate on the minutiae, or we loudly share our valid points.  No matter what we do, though, if we do it in a way that is reciprocating that anger or negativity, that is not bringing us closer together or moving us forward.  It is pushing us away from each other, and it is hard to get to a resolution together if we are far apart.

Instead, try kindness.  Try dealing with that loud voice with a softer voice.  Try dealing with that complaint with some statement of your intent to figure out what CAN be done.  Try being extra courteous and polite, using their name, saying thank you, and conveying a little bit more caring and compassion.

We can dull the edge of their anger, not by responding to negativity in kind, but by responding kindly.

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They’re a Good Person Having a Bad Day – 5/4/21

Posted on May 4, 2021 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

How can someone have so much anger about something that is so insignificant?  Why is the customer getting all out of sorts for something that is not a big deal?  Why are they getting upset with me when I had absolutely nothing to do with their problem?

Although we want to help these customers and we try to navigate through their specific issues and focus on them and their needs, sometimes we can’t help but ask ourselves these questions.  And when we ask ourselves these questions, it could be because we don’t understand, we’re starting to get wound up and feed into their negative emotion, or there’s something going on with us that’s keeping us from helping them.

Maybe they’re a good person having a bad day.

This statement may be true or very untrue, but handling these situations well requires we handle our own emotions well.  It helps us to have a bit of empathy with them so we can remain a little detached from the emotional nature of the conversation.  Sometimes a key to handling these situations effectively is handling ourselves effectively.

Maybe they’re a good person having a bad day.

If we pose these questions of “Why is the customer overreacting?”, sometimes those “Why’s” just feed on each other in an unproductive way.  We need to find a way to answer the Why for ourselves, even if it may not be the ultimate correct answer.  We need to find a way to answer it such that it helps us maintain our composure.  It helps us to stay calm.  It helps us to focus on the facts instead of getting burned by the friction.

Maybe they’re a good person having a bad day.

Try telling yourself this, as it helps me to avoid taking things so personally, to be a bit more understanding, and to maintain my composure.

It helps to assume that the angry customer is a good person having a bad day.

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