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Imitate to Improve - 6/3/25


Oscar Wilde said that “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”  Now this doesn’t mean that plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery.  Nor does it mean that great impersonators such as Rich Little, Dana Carvey, or Frank Caliendo are always offering flattering portrayals of those that they imitate. Wilde’s Read more

How the Customer Perceives a Truth as a Lie - 5/27/25


You’re the customer, you’re asking about an unused item that you’re returning, and you hear the employee say: “The refund process takes 7-10 days.”  You’re thinking: “Great!  I can get the refund check as early as a week from today!”  The reality is that the company means that they’ll Read more

Tell Customers What’s Next - 5/20/25


In most businesses that have been around for a while, how a process was originally designed is not how it currently operates.  Sometimes this change is referred to as “practical drift,” where the actual process moves further and further away from the documented steps over time.  Maybe the changes Read more

Questions to Guide You to Empathy - 5/13/25


“If I was him, I would do ABC…” If you’ve ever heard somebody say this - whether it’s a friend or acquaintance, whether it’s some TV reporter or podcaster - you may get as frustrated or as annoyed as I do. I get annoyed because we are not that other person. Read more

Negate the Nervousness - 5/6/25


The customer needed a loan, so he walked into the bank, but he was a little nervous.  He knew that launching his business would be easier if he had some working capital, but that’s about all he knew.  He was anxious because he didn’t know what to expect in Read more

Don’t Rush to Resolve Quickly - 4/29/25


The customer is angry, so you use the CSS LEAD technique as designed.  You, listen, empathize, accept responsibility, and deliver on a remedy.  But it doesn’t work.  The customer is still upset, and maybe even a little more frustrated than when you started…why?! If the use of this technique fails, Read more

Energy v. Apathy - 4/22/25


I asked a couple friends who are much more scientifically-oriented the question: What is energy?  I didn’t mean E=MC2.  I meant physiologically, what is energy? They described a lot of things that sounded really good, yet far too advanced for my non-medical mind. Part of the reason why energy is of Read more

Prep Enough to Personalize - 4/15/25


Everybody loves Howie.  He is an account rep for the local air conditioning and heating company.  When I say Everybody loves Howie, I’m definitely talking about the customers.  His co-workers love him too, but customers are especially fond of him.  They seem to really enjoy their conversations with him, Read more

Get Your Customers to Brag, Not Bolt - 4/8/25


Here are two customer retention concepts that we discuss with some sports clients: BIRG and CORF.  BIRG is Basking In Reflected Glory.  CORF is Cutting Off Reflected Failure. You want BIRG.  You want the customers feeling so good about your organization that they want to be a part of your Read more

Narrow Your Focus to Seek Excellence - 4/1/25


You’ve probably heard companies use phrases such as: “We want to go from being good to great.”  Maybe they’ve said: “We strive for perfection, and although we’ll never reach perfection, maybe we can achieve excellence along the way.” These organizations find some kind of a catch phrase or slogan, but Read more

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No, You’re Right – 3/10/15 TOW

Posted on March 10, 2015 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment


Everybody likes Sam, but it can be frustrating talking to him. In response to every idea and every question, he always starts the sentence with “No.” Even if he agrees, the response starts with “No” such as “No, you’re right.” It’s not that Sam’s being disagreeable, but it’s just the way he talks.

Sam’s a great guy, but until you get to know him, this “starting with ‘No’” habit makes him come across as negative. There’s a local radio personality that does this, too – whenever I hear his voice and that first “No,” I turn the station.

We often say that – until people really get to know us – they judge us largely by our body language and tone. And if you have a habit of saying something repeatedly that brings a negative vibe to the conversation, they’ll judge you by that phrase as well.

So be aware of and intentional about the words you use, but also keep in mind that we need to work toward positive conversations with others, and much of the positive/negative direction you go in conversations is based on the questions you ask.

Don’t ask the co-worker “Would you mind doing this for me?” If you do so, you’re forcing those that are willing to help to tell you “No, I don’t mind.” Instead ask “Could you please do this for me?”

Don’t ask the customers “Would it be an issue if I put you on hold for two minutes?” Again, you’re forcing the considerate customer to say “No.” Instead ask “Could you please hold for no more than two minutes while I investigate this for you?”

Remember, most people don’t like engaging with negative individuals, developing relationships with negative companies, or being asked questions that force them to respond No, No, No.

To add a positive tone to conversations, ask questions that elicit a ‘Yes.’

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Body Language Tips from Other Experts – 2/17/15 TOW

Posted on February 17, 2015 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment


Sometimes it’s as important to admit what you don’t know as what you do know. By understanding the gaps in your knowledge or expertise, you allow yourself to be open to learn. You allow yourself to grow personally and professionally.

I pride myself on being able to read others’ body language and being very intentional about my own expressions, gestures, and other non-verbal cues when needed. But I’m not THE expert, and I don’t know anyone who has that title. However, I read this online article (17 Tactics For Reading People’s Body Language) with enough specific and interesting tips, that I wanted to share it with you.

In particular, note the use of the open palm to convey honesty; it’s akin to taking notes at a meeting; when I do so, I always leave my tablet flat on the table, in plain sight of the customer so they could easily read any note being written. This helps them to trust me more and become more comfortable in the conversation.

The article talks about a lack of crinkles around the eyes as being a red flag about a fake smile. I’m BIG on the eyes – making good eye contact, smiling with the eyes, watching other’s eyes. You can sometimes truly see into the soul and spirit of others through their eyes.

Finally, see “If they mirror your body language, the conversation is probably going well.” I don’t often look for people to mirror my body language, but I’ll often mirror theirs if they seem uncomfortable or not open at first. If I can get them to relax their body, open their arms, open their hands, then I’m sensing that they’re feeling more comfortable and open. And in customer service, the customers will become more confident in your response if they’ve first become more comfortable with you.

Be yourself. Be sincere. Be genuine.

And also be the best you can be with your body language.

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Convey Compassion in Customer Service – 8/13/13 TOW

Posted on August 13, 2013 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

The hospital promoted the 3 C’s: Compassionate Competent Care. The Care was what they provided – patient care, clinical care. Competent denoted that there was quality to what they provided. Compassionate signified. . .well. . .compassion.

So what is “Compassion” in customer service, and how does it apply even outside of healthcare?

There are several definitions of compassion, but the overriding one that applies to customer service is “sympathy, empathy, and concern for others, particularly for their issues or misfortune.” Customers want you to care for them, particularly when they’re in a tough situation. So you want to be compassionate.

Based on this definition of compassion, ask yourself a few questions. Are you aware of the customer’s issues? Are you understanding of their misfortunes? And just as importantly, how do you convey your understanding and concern?

There are ways to convey compassion with your words/phrases. Use these words frequently in dialogue with the customer to convey compassion for their issue/misfortune:

  • “Your issue” or “Your concern”
  • “You” used in a personal reference
  • “I understand”
  • “I care”
  • “I’m sorry”
  • “I’m concerned.”

What aspects of body language and tone of voice convey compassion?

  • Offer a gentle touch on the back or shoulder
  • Provide eye contact
  • Periodically nod your head
  • Acknowledge/engage the customer and their family/friends
  • Sit/kneel to customer’s eye level
  • Lean toward the customer rather than away or toward the door
  • Use a more quiet tone
  • Avoid utterances while customer is talking.

To be compassionate, use the words and non-verbal communications that convey you care.

Convey Compassion in Customer Service.

 


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