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Don’t Harp on the Customer’s Mistake - 6/24/25


Seth’s daughter, Sarah, had missed some swim classes, and Seth remembered that the aquatics center had several make-up classes available late in the summer.  So Seth pulled up the class schedule on his phone, found one that worked on his and Sarah’s schedules, and planned to attend a session Read more

Create Customers for Life - 6/17/25


Veronica has gone to the same automotive service shop for at least 20 years.  She bought a new car about a year ago, and this is the third car she’s brought to the shop instead of taking her car to the dealer where she bought it.  She’s had three Read more

Don’t Turn the Customer into the QA Department - 6/10/25


Roberta received a form with information filled in by the company after her conversation with the account rep.  Roberta just needed to review the information, fill in some of the blanks, sign it, and resend it in order to set up a new account. She noticed that the effective date Read more

Imitate to Improve - 6/3/25


Oscar Wilde said that “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”  Now this doesn’t mean that plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery.  Nor does it mean that great impersonators such as Rich Little, Dana Carvey, or Frank Caliendo are always offering flattering portrayals of those that they imitate. Wilde’s Read more

How the Customer Perceives a Truth as a Lie - 5/27/25


You’re the customer, you’re asking about an unused item that you’re returning, and you hear the employee say: “The refund process takes 7-10 days.”  You’re thinking: “Great!  I can get the refund check as early as a week from today!”  The reality is that the company means that they’ll Read more

Tell Customers What’s Next - 5/20/25


In most businesses that have been around for a while, how a process was originally designed is not how it currently operates.  Sometimes this change is referred to as “practical drift,” where the actual process moves further and further away from the documented steps over time.  Maybe the changes Read more

Questions to Guide You to Empathy - 5/13/25


“If I was him, I would do ABC…” If you’ve ever heard somebody say this - whether it’s a friend or acquaintance, whether it’s some TV reporter or podcaster - you may get as frustrated or as annoyed as I do. I get annoyed because we are not that other person. Read more

Negate the Nervousness - 5/6/25


The customer needed a loan, so he walked into the bank, but he was a little nervous.  He knew that launching his business would be easier if he had some working capital, but that’s about all he knew.  He was anxious because he didn’t know what to expect in Read more

Don’t Rush to Resolve Quickly - 4/29/25


The customer is angry, so you use the CSS LEAD technique as designed.  You, listen, empathize, accept responsibility, and deliver on a remedy.  But it doesn’t work.  The customer is still upset, and maybe even a little more frustrated than when you started…why?! If the use of this technique fails, Read more

Energy v. Apathy - 4/22/25


I asked a couple friends who are much more scientifically-oriented the question: What is energy?  I didn’t mean E=MC2.  I meant physiologically, what is energy? They described a lot of things that sounded really good, yet far too advanced for my non-medical mind. Part of the reason why energy is of Read more

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How to Grow Your Relationships – 7/11/17

Posted on July 11, 2017 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment


In a study conducted about human relationships by Leo Buscaglia, researchers surveyed participants about the qualities of primary relationships which were most enhancing to continued growth. The three qualities that seemed to contribute most to growing relationships were Communication, Affection, and Compassion/Forgiveness.

Let’s see how to apply these relationship-growing attributes to our interactions with customers and co-workers.

Communication was defined as “the desire to be open, to share, to relate, and actively speak and listen to one another.”

Consider your co-workers and customers. To grow your relationships with them, be open, go to them sharing information of interest and use to them. Share your perspective and your thoughts. Likewise, ask for their thoughts, and listen to their responses.

Affection was seen as the “trait of caring, understanding, respect, physical and psychological closeness, nurturing, and kindness.”

Now here we’re not saying to be affectionate with your customers and co-workers, because that can get you in all sorts of legal troubles! So let’s focus on the definition of Affection. Show care for the other person, be respectful of them, be understanding of their needs, and show them kindness.

Compassion was defined as “the ability to have empathy, to forgive, to be supportive and selfless.”

I’ve often said that empathy is the greatest quality somebody can have in customer service. It’s hard to really serve someone if you don’t care enough to try to understand what’s unique about them and their situation. That’s empathy.

But forgiveness is something newer – a word I don’t discuss often. It suggests that sometimes the customers don’t treat us well, the co-worker doesn’t do what they need to do, others are throwing roadblocks in front of us. This definition of compassion suggests that we need to forgive them and move forward. We need to be supportive of others and lose any selfish tendencies that we might bring into situations.

If you want to grow relationships, focus on building these qualities of relationships into your everyday interactions with co-workers and customers.

Focus on Communication, Affection, and Compassion/Forgiveness.

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Convey Compassion in Customer Service – 8/13/13 TOW

Posted on August 13, 2013 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

The hospital promoted the 3 C’s: Compassionate Competent Care. The Care was what they provided – patient care, clinical care. Competent denoted that there was quality to what they provided. Compassionate signified. . .well. . .compassion.

So what is “Compassion” in customer service, and how does it apply even outside of healthcare?

There are several definitions of compassion, but the overriding one that applies to customer service is “sympathy, empathy, and concern for others, particularly for their issues or misfortune.” Customers want you to care for them, particularly when they’re in a tough situation. So you want to be compassionate.

Based on this definition of compassion, ask yourself a few questions. Are you aware of the customer’s issues? Are you understanding of their misfortunes? And just as importantly, how do you convey your understanding and concern?

There are ways to convey compassion with your words/phrases. Use these words frequently in dialogue with the customer to convey compassion for their issue/misfortune:

  • “Your issue” or “Your concern”
  • “You” used in a personal reference
  • “I understand”
  • “I care”
  • “I’m sorry”
  • “I’m concerned.”

What aspects of body language and tone of voice convey compassion?

  • Offer a gentle touch on the back or shoulder
  • Provide eye contact
  • Periodically nod your head
  • Acknowledge/engage the customer and their family/friends
  • Sit/kneel to customer’s eye level
  • Lean toward the customer rather than away or toward the door
  • Use a more quiet tone
  • Avoid utterances while customer is talking.

To be compassionate, use the words and non-verbal communications that convey you care.

Convey Compassion in Customer Service.