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Be Supportive, Not Defensive – 10/7/25

Posted on October 7, 2025 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

[An employee on the phone with a customer…] Who told you that you didn’t have to submit that form? … Bob?  Oh brother!  You see Bob is our “special” co-worker.  He seems to always tell customers the wrong thing to do, and we’re having to clean up after him.  We wouldn’t have half the problems that we do if it wasn’t for Bob.

We have probably all worked with a Bob.  He’s that co-worker who causes of fires that we find ourselves fighting.  Maybe he’s the salesperson that made expectations that operations or customer service know cannot be delivered.  Maybe he’s somebody with the best intentions but communicates them in a way that creates issues for others.  But we don’t want to throw Bob under the proverbial bus.

On the other hand, Bob may be an outstanding employee!  Maybe the customer is totally in the wrong, so it’s understandable that we could be defensive because Bob is unjustly being chastised by the customer in their conversation with you.

Whether the customer complaint is justified or not, that co-worker is as much a part of the organization as you are, so how can we be supportive without being defensive?

Avoiding Defensiveness

One way to address this is to keep in mind that defensiveness is often exhibited through our emotions.  To avoid being defensive, keep the emotions down, keep the tone a little more calm and steady, be intentional about your body language, trying not to raise the temperature with the customer.

Being Supportive

Don’t feel like you have to argue on your co-worker’s behalf in order to be supportive.  Sometimes the best thing to do is to convey what you know and don’t know, note your experience or lack thereof in the situation or with your co-worker, and transition the conversation away from your co-worker and back toward the issue and possible resolution.  Talking to the customer:

I wasn’t in that conversation, so I can’t speak specifically to what Bob said, but I’m sorry you had to deal with it, and I want to help you find a resolution.

I’ve known Bob for years, and I’ll definitely talk with him since that’s not the experiences his customers typically have, and I’m very sorry about what happened in your case.  Let’s discuss how we can resolve this for you.

That’s not how we typically do things around here, so I’m very sorry about the situation.  I’ll definitely share your concerns internally after our call, and right now I want to make sure we can get this situation addressed immediately.

Don’t agree with the customer that Bob was at fault; stay composed; let them know if the situation isn’t typical, and move toward a resolution.

Be Supportive, Not Defensive.

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