defensive | Customer Service Solutions, Inc.

Confirm the Customer is Cleared for Takeoff - 11/18/25


An airplane pilot is told when they’re “cleared for takeoff” before they begin to accelerate down the runway.  The air traffic controller (ATC) has looked at everything in front of the pilot, on the runway and in the air space, and checked to ensure the pilot is good to Read more

Build Relationships with First-timers - 11/11/25


We’ve worked with one of our sports clients for over 10 years, and although the main focus of our work is research with their fan base, we also provide informal consulting advice and guidance whenever possible.  One approach we’ve talked about on and off for years is the need Read more

Last Impression Faux Pas - 11/4/25


Rightfully so, many customer service experts harp on the importance of the first impression.  It happens quickly, and it can impact the individual’s perception of you and the organization.  We even wrote a Tip of the Week on this years ago called First Impression Faux Pas. What many people tend Read more

Familying with Customers - 10/28/25


In our transactional society, it’s hard to think about customers in the long-term.  But if we want to be as successful as we can as an individual or as a business, we need to view customers through a relationship lens. What do we need to know about them to Read more

Avoid These Techniques - 10/21/25


We had a Customer Service Tip of the Week recently that addressed gaining control of the conversation.  One of the key points was that the focus should be on gaining control of conversations in various circumstances, but trying to avoid making it your goal to gain control of the Read more

View Quality through the Customer’s Eyes - 10/14/25


Geri had been dealing with backups in the downstairs plumbing system of her house on and off for the past year.  The most recent company that she called in to unclog the pipes stated that they could send a camera down the pipes and tell her exactly where the Read more

Be Supportive, Not Defensive - 10/7/25


[An employee on the phone with a customer…] Who told you that you didn’t have to submit that form? … Bob?  Oh brother!  You see Bob is our “special” co-worker.  He seems to always tell customers the wrong thing to do, and we’re having to clean up after him.  Read more

Some Customers LOVE Predictability - 9/30/25


I was facilitating focus groups of businesses that utilize local government services.  The phrase that popped up multiple times was “Time Is Money!”  What these municipal customers were conveying was that their time was valuable, and delays were wasting their time.  But the conversations were not just about how Read more

Find Your Special Sauce - 9/23/25


When I watch a football game and I see a great quarterback (somebody who may be considered a “Star”), he might be an excellent runner, have a big arm, be able to diagnose the defense and get his team into the right play.  But he’s likely not great at Read more

Gain Control of the Conversation - 9/16/25


The customer’s angry or upset or they have a complaint.  They’re very chatty or very wordy or they just want to talk to somebody.  You’re on a time crunch, and the customer obviously is not. There are times when you need to gain control of the conversation.  It’s important for Read more

Be Supportive, Not Defensive – 10/7/25

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[An employee on the phone with a customer…] Who told you that you didn’t have to submit that form? … Bob?  Oh brother!  You see Bob is our “special” co-worker.  He seems to always tell customers the wrong thing to do, and we’re having to clean up after him.  We wouldn’t have half the problems that we do if it wasn’t for Bob.

We have probably all worked with a Bob.  He’s that co-worker who causes of fires that we find ourselves fighting.  Maybe he’s the salesperson that made expectations that operations or customer service know cannot be delivered.  Maybe he’s somebody with the best intentions but communicates them in a way that creates issues for others.  But we don’t want to throw Bob under the proverbial bus.

On the other hand, Bob may be an outstanding employee!  Maybe the customer is totally in the wrong, so it’s understandable that we could be defensive because Bob is unjustly being chastised by the customer in their conversation with you.

Whether the customer complaint is justified or not, that co-worker is as much a part of the organization as you are, so how can we be supportive without being defensive?

Avoiding Defensiveness

One way to address this is to keep in mind that defensiveness is often exhibited through our emotions.  To avoid being defensive, keep the emotions down, keep the tone a little more calm and steady, be intentional about your body language, trying not to raise the temperature with the customer.

Being Supportive

Don’t feel like you have to argue on your co-worker’s behalf in order to be supportive.  Sometimes the best thing to do is to convey what you know and don’t know, note your experience or lack thereof in the situation or with your co-worker, and transition the conversation away from your co-worker and back toward the issue and possible resolution.  Talking to the customer:

I wasn’t in that conversation, so I can’t speak specifically to what Bob said, but I’m sorry you had to deal with it, and I want to help you find a resolution.

I’ve known Bob for years, and I’ll definitely talk with him since that’s not the experiences his customers typically have, and I’m very sorry about what happened in your case.  Let’s discuss how we can resolve this for you.

That’s not how we typically do things around here, so I’m very sorry about the situation.  I’ll definitely share your concerns internally after our call, and right now I want to make sure we can get this situation addressed immediately.

Don’t agree with the customer that Bob was at fault; stay composed; let them know if the situation isn’t typical, and move toward a resolution.

Be Supportive, Not Defensive.

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