defensive

Beware of Scary Telephone Customer Service - 10/27/26


As we near the Halloween holiday in the United States, it seems appropriate to discuss examples of scary customer service, particularly on the telephone.  Here are a few common issues that frustrate and annoy customers.  These are experiences to avoid delivering, and alternatives to adopt: The customer calls, describes their Read more

The Art of the Successful Script - 10/20/26


You’re the customer.  You go to the store, and they ask if you have a loyalty card.  You call the doctor’s office, and they ask for your birth date.   You walk up to the counter, and they ask if you found everything you were looking for. These are all valid Read more

The Key Building Block for Your Customer Relationship - 10/13/26


An automotive manufacturer gets supplies for their vehicles from all over the world.  They have arrangements, service level agreements, expectations for timing and quality of all the parts.  And when they gather all these supplies, they assemble the cars.  They test the cars.  Then they take pictures of those Read more

Be Flexible to Fill the Gaps - 10/6/26


The non-profit has the expected challenges.  There are only 3 people in the organization, yet, they have the same responsibilities of a larger company.  They have to do finance, sales, marketing; they deliver their services to the community, and they need to keep a pulse on what’s going on Read more

Is This Good Customer Service? - 9/29/26


A friend of mine reached out to me recently as she waited for the electrical technician to show up at her house to do some minor repairs.  She had never worked with this company before, but they sent a text about the tech who was soon to arrive. The message Read more

Ownership when Fixing Others’ Errors - 9/22/26


We were conducting training with a client recently, and one of the participants, Jackie, is in a role in his organization where he goes out to the customer site to investigate issues, address customer complaints, and fix problems.  While he’s at the site, he often gets an earful from Read more

Why “No” is So Important - 9/15/26


The employee told the caller: “I don’t think that is possible.” The customer eventually hung up, and redialed to ask a different employee the same question. The employee responded to the customer: “That’s probably not the best way to do it.”  Then, the customer kept asking question after question, arguing Read more

It’s Not “You,” It’s “I” - 9/8/26


During a business writing course that I took years ago, the instructor had us write an e-mail.  I can’t recall if it was written to a co-worker or customer, but after writing this e-mail, she had us count every “I” and “You.”  We talked about how we need to Read more

It Shouldn’t Make a Difference, But… - 9/1/26


We have this conversation with lots of our sports clients, but the principles apply across all different industries.  Too many service representatives view a conversation with a customer as a transaction.  Just get him off the phone as quickly as possible.  The customer is Joe Public, not Joseph Pendergrass.  Read more

Use What the Customer Gives You - 8/25/26


Scenario #1: The customer sent an e-mail to the general inbox at the company.  The message noted that the customer needed to get a family member added to their account, but they couldn’t tell from the website how to do so. The next morning an employee opened up the e-mail, Read more

Be Supportive, Not Defensive – 10/7/25

Posted on in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

[An employee on the phone with a customer…] Who told you that you didn’t have to submit that form? … Bob?  Oh brother!  You see Bob is our “special” co-worker.  He seems to always tell customers the wrong thing to do, and we’re having to clean up after him.  We wouldn’t have half the problems that we do if it wasn’t for Bob.

We have probably all worked with a Bob.  He’s that co-worker who causes of fires that we find ourselves fighting.  Maybe he’s the salesperson that made expectations that operations or customer service know cannot be delivered.  Maybe he’s somebody with the best intentions but communicates them in a way that creates issues for others.  But we don’t want to throw Bob under the proverbial bus.

On the other hand, Bob may be an outstanding employee!  Maybe the customer is totally in the wrong, so it’s understandable that we could be defensive because Bob is unjustly being chastised by the customer in their conversation with you.

Whether the customer complaint is justified or not, that co-worker is as much a part of the organization as you are, so how can we be supportive without being defensive?

Avoiding Defensiveness

One way to address this is to keep in mind that defensiveness is often exhibited through our emotions.  To avoid being defensive, keep the emotions down, keep the tone a little more calm and steady, be intentional about your body language, trying not to raise the temperature with the customer.

Being Supportive

Don’t feel like you have to argue on your co-worker’s behalf in order to be supportive.  Sometimes the best thing to do is to convey what you know and don’t know, note your experience or lack thereof in the situation or with your co-worker, and transition the conversation away from your co-worker and back toward the issue and possible resolution.  Talking to the customer:

I wasn’t in that conversation, so I can’t speak specifically to what Bob said, but I’m sorry you had to deal with it, and I want to help you find a resolution.

I’ve known Bob for years, and I’ll definitely talk with him since that’s not the experiences his customers typically have, and I’m very sorry about what happened in your case.  Let’s discuss how we can resolve this for you.

That’s not how we typically do things around here, so I’m very sorry about the situation.  I’ll definitely share your concerns internally after our call, and right now I want to make sure we can get this situation addressed immediately.

Don’t agree with the customer that Bob was at fault; stay composed; let them know if the situation isn’t typical, and move toward a resolution.

Be Supportive, Not Defensive.

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