empathy | Customer Service Solutions, Inc. - Page 15

Don’t Skip the Recap - 5/12/26


The playoff hockey game goes on for almost 3 hours.  There’s non-stop action, with plenty of penalties and takeaways and hits against the boards…and a few goals, as well. You didn’t get to watch the whole game because you had other plans, but you wanted to know what happened.  So, Read more

Finalize the Solution with the 6 Step Checklist - 5/5/26


In last week’s Tip, we showed why and how to Use the 6 Step Checklist before Resolving the Issue.  We noted the importance of taking 15 seconds to mentally walk through the Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How to feel confident that you know what’s needed to fix Read more

Use the 6 Step Checklist before Resolving the Issue - 4/28/26


We talk about trying to resolve the issue right the first time, sharing the technique on how to manage the conversation to get clarity on the real issue, need, or goal, and confirming your understanding before moving forward. But what are you trying to clarify?  What are you trying to Read more

Use the Customer’s Words - 4/21/26


The customer is describing a problem on what they call their “computer.” They mentioned that the “screen” doesn’t “move from one page to the other.” They say that the “website’s name is typed at the top,” and it says sample.com with a “line, and then it says ‘home’ after Read more

Affirming the Customer with Empathy - 4/14/26


We’ve spoken and written about empathy for the 20+ years of these customer service tips, noting empathy as the most important quality any individual can have if they want to be great at customer service.  We’ve shared that - in order to serve our customers most effectively – it’s Read more

The Power of Teaching While Helping - 4/7/26


If you’re trying to develop a relationship with the customer rather than just simply handling their transaction and moving on, you are taking a long-term view.  You realize that that individual is someone you want to keep with your business for months or years to come, so it’s a Read more

Bear with Me - 3/31/26


As a customer, you’ve probably called a company and heard the phrase “bear with me.”  At that point, you know there’s going to be some sort of delay.  The CSR is giving you a heads up that there’s going to be additional wait time.  Essentially, they are trying to Read more

Slowing Down the Fast Talker - 3/24/26


Jeffrey had always been told by his manager to figure out the issue quickly and wrap up the conversation as fast as possible.  So, Jeffrey was hyper-focused at finding that one key word that could identify the issue and help him to transition quickly to what might be some possible Read more

Don’t Bury the Lede - 3/17/26


Mary was working at the office, and she received an e-mail alert from the water company.  There was a water outage in her neighborhood.  It looked like it was going to be a couple hours to fix the issue. Sure enough, a few hours later around mid-afternoon, Mary received another Read more

Confirm the Real Issue Before You Start Solving - 3/10/26


Have you ever gone “down the rabbit hole?”  It involves going deep into some topic, some discussion – with analysis that creates complexity as much as it resolves it.  And that dive into the rabbit hole often starts with a simple question. Going down that rabbit hole takes time and Read more

Jamey Needed to Slow Down – 6/10/14 TOW

Posted on in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment


Jamey is young, but he’s pretty good at sales – his new sales numbers generally prove the point. He seems to care about fixing issues, speaks articulately, and responds quickly and specifically “on his feet” when asked the tough questions or challenged. He’s confident, so Jamey was shocked when one of his accounts told him “That’s not how things are done in the South; you’ve got to develop a relationship first.”

Jamey had responded to every request or question, quickly. He was speedy in resolution to issues. He didn’t take up too much of the customer’s time on the phone – the conversations were short and quick.

The problem was that Jamey’s quick responses, fast talking, and general speed (in everything he did) didn’t appeal to this client. The quick responses were good, but they were often a few words in an e-mail with no greeting such as “Nope. Can’t work that out this time.”

Jamey thought he was being considerate of the client’s time with his quick calls, but they were quick because Jamey was peppering his customer with questions instead of creating a more two-way conversational tone. When Jamey received a call from the account, he typically talked fast and hung up quickly. When Jamey fixed a problem quickly, he often didn’t call the client to ensure that the fix worked.

Even though Jamey did so many things technically correct, he didn’t have a good enough read on this account to tailor how he communicated about those “things” to the preference of his client. So the client interpreted that Jamey was impatient, rushed, or just didn’t care about the client.

In customer service, sometimes it’s not just about what you do or how quickly you do it; rather, to many customers, it’s how you communicate with them during the process.

Don’t rush through conversations like they’re just another box on the “To Do” list. Be patient. View relationship-building as a process.


I Assume She is Not Like Me – 3/4/14 TOW

Posted on in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment


She left me a voice mail, and I prefer to respond via e-mail. She talks really fast, and I prefer a more casual speed. What she wants most is to be heard, and what I want most is to have my problem fixed. She wants to be walked through a process by an employee, and I want the self-service option.

She is the customer. I am the employee. We could not be more different.

But what if I prefer voice mail, I talk fast, I want to be heard, and I want that 1-on-1 employee support? Then we’re the same, correct?

The point is not in the determination of whether we’re the same or different. The point is that we can’t make assumptions that we and the customers are the same.

How I prefer to be communicated with, how I prefer a situation be handled, how I prefer to get a need met may be the same as 70% of my customers, but what about the other 30%? If I believe that they are like me, I could deliver some pretty lousy service to those 30%.

This is when we talk about the importance on not assuming the customer is just like us. This is when trying to convey empathy is so important. Because customers want their need or issue addressed, but many also want it addressed in a certain manner, and if we don’t take the initiative to identify not only what they want but how they want it received or handled, we could have a dissatisfied customer.

Don’t just describe what you’ll do for the customer, but confirm that will work. Don’t just assume how you’ll communicate with them, but ask their preference. Don’t just overlook the particulars of their situation, ask them for the details.

To deliver great customer service, we have to avoid the assumption they are like us and – instead – confirm the reality. Assume they’re different; that focus will force you to ask them about themselves, their needs, their issues, and their preferences. It will put you in a learning mindset, and it will make you better at serving them in the best manner possible.

Assume the customer is different from you.


Convey Compassion in Customer Service – 8/13/13 TOW

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The hospital promoted the 3 C’s: Compassionate Competent Care. The Care was what they provided – patient care, clinical care. Competent denoted that there was quality to what they provided. Compassionate signified. . .well. . .compassion.

So what is “Compassion” in customer service, and how does it apply even outside of healthcare?

There are several definitions of compassion, but the overriding one that applies to customer service is “sympathy, empathy, and concern for others, particularly for their issues or misfortune.” Customers want you to care for them, particularly when they’re in a tough situation. So you want to be compassionate.

Based on this definition of compassion, ask yourself a few questions. Are you aware of the customer’s issues? Are you understanding of their misfortunes? And just as importantly, how do you convey your understanding and concern?

There are ways to convey compassion with your words/phrases. Use these words frequently in dialogue with the customer to convey compassion for their issue/misfortune:

  • “Your issue” or “Your concern”
  • “You” used in a personal reference
  • “I understand”
  • “I care”
  • “I’m sorry”
  • “I’m concerned.”

What aspects of body language and tone of voice convey compassion?

  • Offer a gentle touch on the back or shoulder
  • Provide eye contact
  • Periodically nod your head
  • Acknowledge/engage the customer and their family/friends
  • Sit/kneel to customer’s eye level
  • Lean toward the customer rather than away or toward the door
  • Use a more quiet tone
  • Avoid utterances while customer is talking.

To be compassionate, use the words and non-verbal communications that convey you care.

Convey Compassion in Customer Service.