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Gain Control of the Conversation - 9/16/25


The customer’s angry or upset or they have a complaint.  They’re very chatty or very wordy or they just want to talk to somebody.  You’re on a time crunch, and the customer obviously is not. There are times when you need to gain control of the conversation.  It’s important for Read more

Complement with a Compliment - 9/9/25


We perform many tasks for our customers every day, and when we’re done with a step in the process, oftentimes we will tell the customer what’s been done.  But if we want to create more of a WOW experience, if we want to make the customer feel a little Read more

When Patience Begets Patience - 9/2/25


Jennifer, the server, walked toward the couple in the restaurant.  The customers had been seated for a minute or two, and they noticed the server was walking briskly toward their table.  Jennifer recognized the couple she was about to serve, because they had been in the previous week. Since the Read more

Address the Expectations that Were Set - 8/26/25


Before the caller ever got to Marco – the customer service representative, the customer had been working with the company for months.  They had read the marketing brochures, had a conversation with a sales rep, reviewed the new customer information on the website, and read all the information e-mailed Read more

When Technology Fails the Customer - 8/19/25


Technology is a wonderful thing…until it isn’t.  The website is down, the mobile app won’t work, the system keeps kicking them out of their account, or they received a spoofing phone call supposedly from your department. If you’ve ever been manning the phones or managing the department inbox, you know Read more

The Misunderstood Physician - 8/12/25


I was speaking with one of my personal physicians years ago, and when we were talking about my work – particularly customer satisfaction research - he started talking about online physician ratings.  He lamented that a few low ratings were dinging his overall score.  Then he shared that the Read more

Uncover Silent Concerns - 8/5/25


One of the customer service statistics we have quoted many times over the years is:  For every complaint you do hear, there could be 26 other customer issues that you don’t hear. And when we bring up that statistic, we bring it up because we want to make sure companies Read more

Talk Yourself Up to Take Down Their Anxiety - 7/29/25


I believe that most customer service people are pretty humble, so I’m not asking you to lose your humility.  But I do have one ask of you… When that customer is anxious or nervous, when they fear the future because the future is unknown or it could be laced with Read more

Use Little Acts to Make a Big Impact - 7/22/25


A WOW Experience is not always one instance, one act that blows away the customer.  It’s not always an over-the-top-the-employee-saved-the-day act of brilliance.  Sometimes a WOW is the sum total of a series of little things that others don’t do – those actions that differentiate you from others.  The Read more

Avoid Some Stress by Addressing Issues Quickly - 7/15/25


It’s good customer service to resolve issues quickly.  The customer sees the light at the end of the tunnel.  They more quickly bring their anxiety and stress, their negative emotions down.  And they more quickly get to a solution. But this tip is not about them.  This tip is about Read more

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Weigh-in to Buy-in – 5/24/16 TOW

Posted on May 24, 2016 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment


Weigh-in to Buy-in – cool phrase! It’s usually associated with companies trying to get their employees onboard for some initiative or a change that requires employees to make it work. Essentially, the principle is that, if you want employees to buy into this initiative or change, you have to allow them to weigh-in. You have to allow them to have input, to participate in the design process, and maybe even be a part of the decision-making process.

People buy-in more readily if the solution is something they helped to create.

That brings us to a discussion of our customers. This same principle that applies to gaining employee buy-in applies to your internal and external customers.

Have you ever proposed a solution to the customer that didn’t satisfy them? Maybe they had a bad attitude, or maybe they were irate about something, so they were too emotional to consider YOUR idea.

But maybe, just maybe, they didn’t buy-in because it wasn’t THEIR idea; it wasn’t something that they helped to conceptualize; it wasn’t something they helped to design; they weren’t part of the decision.

They didn’t get a chance to weigh-in, so they didn’t buy-in.

There are many ways to get them to weigh-in to a solution. First, you could ask them to suggest what would work for them. “What can we do to make this right?” or “What could we do in the future to better serve you?”

Second, you could offer 2-3 alternatives, and ask what would work best for them. Think of the healthcare worker who can’t let the patient outside to smoke (i.e., non-smoking campus); since there are ways other than smoking to relieve anxiety and stress, offer some options, and let them choose.

Third, if this is an ongoing relationship you’re managing with chronic issues to address (think about the season ticket holders in sports), conduct focus groups, share your organizational goals and challenges, and note your desire for a permanent solution – then ask for their guidance and suggestions.

When you want the customer to love the solution (or at least live with it without voicing the negative emotion), find opportunities to let them let you know what solutions would work best.

Let them Weigh-in to Buy-in.

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Sympathy – the Customer Service Conundrum – 4/5/16 TOW

Posted on April 5, 2016 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment


The employee tried to defuse the customer who was upset by stating “I feel the same way you do right now.”

The customer service representative told the customer “I know exactly what you’re going through.”

The client was obviously unhappy, and the employee responded “I’m as frustrated as you are.”

Maybe these responses from the employee seem appropriate – or maybe they seem out of bounds. But if you’re teetering on your decision about whether these are good or bad employee statements, read the following – the same scenarios with more context.

The employee tried to defuse the long-term customer who was upset about the no-return policy by stating “I feel the same way you do right now.”

The customer service representative told the customer who had been on hold for over an hour “I know exactly what you’re going through.”

The client couldn’t get the answer to their question on the website or on the phone and was obviously unhappy having to go downtown to the company offices, and the employee responded “I’m as frustrated as you are.”

How do the employee responses seem to you now? The problem with these statements is that they are far more focused on sympathy than empathy. They are more about stating how the employee knows the exact customer situations and maybe even has the same feelings as the customer. But often, when employees try to move from sympathy to empathy, they run a big risk.

Do they know the whole customer story? Do they truly feel what the customer feels? Does a customer want an employee to sound like the real victim of poor customer service? No. No. No.

Be careful when trying to convey to the customer that you truly know the full extent of their situation and to feel their feelings. In most cases, you don’t, and that’s okay.

Instead of serving up sympathy, show empathy. You don’t have to “feel their feelings” to provide great customer service.

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Emotions Take Energy – 3/1/16 TOW

Posted on March 1, 2016 in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment


Are you ever been exhausted at the end of a day? How about the end of a conversation with a co-worker? Are you worn out by a tough talk with a difficult customer? Maybe the effort you put into the day, the stubbornness of a co-worker, or the attitude of the customer just wore you down. Or – just maybe – your own emotions that bubbled up are what wore you down.

Ever wonder why pro golfers are noted as being so steady, so calm? Some of that is because it helps them to focus on the immediate task at hand – the next putt, the next drive, visualizing the next shot. They can’t have the quality of what they’re about to do negatively impacted by what they just did (even if it was a good shot). But they also are walking and swinging for 4 hours straight, and they need to have strong energy of body and mind on the 18th hole just like they did on the 1st hole.

Emotions take energy.

When we teach classes on how to defuse the upset customer or co-worker, we talk about letting the other person vent – let them blow off steam. Once they’re given time to vocalize their concerns, many naturally settle down. Why? Because they’re tired – they just expended a lot of energy through their emotional outpouring.

So there are two lessons to learn here – First, realize that when you expend emotions when engaging others, it’s going to take some of your energy. Emotions are wonderful things when channeled for good, so ensure that you’re saving that emotional energy for times when you want to celebrate and do for others or pat yourself on the back. Try not to let yourself get so emotionally involved in things that don’t deserve your energy. Focus on the task, the details, the next steps – convey you care without carrying emotions into everything you do.

Second, use the knowledge of the emotions-energy link during tough customer and co-worker conversations. Realize that allowing the other to vent helps to wear out the other and bring their emotions down. Conserve your energy as they expend theirs; then you can work from a lower key and more objective position to start resolving issues.

On those low energy days and during those tough talks, remember that Emotions Take Energy.

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