alternative solution | Customer Service Solutions, Inc. - Page 4

When They Want the Supervisor - 1/27/26


Maybe you did your best with the customer, or maybe the customer didn’t even give you a chance.  They want to talk to your supervisor.  They see you, notice your title does not have “supervisor” or “manager” or “director” or “President and CEO” in it, so they want to Read more

Identify Your Point of Empathy - 1/20/26


I was watching a webinar recently on empathy.  The speaker mentioned that empathy - to a large extent - is something that you are born with.  It’s something that’s very difficult to learn.  And while I agree that some people are predisposed to being empathetic and understanding of others Read more

Pressure is a Privilege, but... - 1/13/26


When athletes are asked about the pressure of a playoff match or a late-game situation, many times they will say that “pressure is a privilege.”  In other words, usually pressure exists because you’re in a match that matters most.  It exists because you are a player put in a Read more

While I’ve Got You on the Phone… - 1/6/26


I’m a big planner.  Whether it’s strategic planning or planning out the year or planning my week first thing on a Monday morning, I like to plan.  I do this because it gets all of my action items documented and ensures that I have some understanding of what I Read more

Pass the Quick Impression Test - 12/30/25


Some studies have shown that people create an impression of you in less than a second when they first meet you face-to-face.  Other studies have shown that that initial impression can take up to 7 seconds.  Regardless, first impressions are quick.  First impressions are not always the lasting impression, Read more

2025 Holiday Poem - 12/23/25


We hear the word change And that change can be good, But we like things to stay same, And sometimes they should.   The weather can be wet And then dry as a bone. We know things will change, Even if all left alone.   Our customers change. Our co-workers do, too. It seems like our resources Are often too few.   The technology Read more

Make the Long Wait Feel Shorter - 12/16/25


When Greg entered the Tax Office, he was thinking only about two things: (1) How he was going to get the tax value on his home reduced, and (2) Whether the wait would be 1 hour or 2.  He checked in with the navigator who asked a few questions, Read more

When Kindness Means More in Customer Service - 12/9/25


Since a large part of the work we do at CSS includes customer research, we have seen tens of thousands of comments over the years about staff, and it is great to hear the positives that customers, fans, and account holders say about our clients’ team members. One word that Read more

Don’t Create the Second Complaint - 12/2/25


Maria was upset.  Rightfully so.  The product delivery was delayed, she couldn’t get anybody on the phone, and nobody would reply to her e-mails.  So, she went down to the store, and she found a customer service representative. After the initial greeting, the employee listened to Maria’s complaint.  While Maria Read more

Refresh on the Reasons to Appreciate the Customer - 11/25/25


This is a great time of year to give thanks, not just because it’s Thanksgiving week in the United States, but also because – with 2025 coming to a close - it gives us the opportunity to do some reflecting on the recent past. The idea of reflecting on reasons Read more

Of Ross, Unagi, and the Attacking Customer – 6/19/18

Posted on in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment


If you’ve ever watched the TV sitcom called Friends, you may remember that one of the characters was named Ross. In one episode, he is trying to educate some of his female friends (who just took a self-defense course) on a concept he calls Unagi. Basically, to Ross, this is a concept that would help him anticipate when he was about to be attacked. Once attacked, then he could use his karate. Of course, Ross got his terms confused; he should have said Zanshin; instead he used Unagi – a Japanese word for freshwater eel.

Ross also wasn’t particularly good at Unagi or karate, as later in the episode his Friends “attacked” him when his Unagi failed, and they got him in a submission hold.

In the world of customer service, it would be great if we had Unagi. It would be great if we had some kind of a radar that could anticipate that customer who is going to attack us or bully us into getting what they want.

Unfortunately, for the most part, Unagi does not exist. However, these are 3 different tactics to consider when you’re faced with a customer potentially trying to bully his way to a particular outcome:

Restrain – Hold back on the urge to verbally fight back with personal attacks against the customer, blaming them for things that have happened in the situation. Once we heighten our emotional level and try to match theirs, usually we’re going to end up having a situation get even worse. Restrain a little bit instead of reacting with defensiveness and our own personal feelings.

Redirect – Consider ways to get the conversation away from the personal attack and away from their solutions to focus more on a scenario where you are redirecting the conversation by asking questions. You’re trying to learn details. You’re trying to understand specifics, and all the while by asking your questions you’re not only getting the conversation to focus on what you want to focus on, but you’re also taking control of the conversation.

Recuse – At some point, the conversation gets too heated; it’s too personal; you may need to recuse yourself from the conversation. This does not mean to ignore the customer and the issue. What it does mean is that sometimes it’s best to bring in a co-worker, bring in a supervisor, bring in somebody else and recuse yourself from the situation. Oftentimes that mere pause for the handoff can deescalate the emotions. By bringing in someone else, it gets the focus off of you and the dynamics with you and the customer. Sometimes the customer feels they’re making progress through a resolution process by viewing the next person (especially if you position the handoff this way) as a key next step in the process.

Why you might not have Unagi, find ways to restrain, redirect, and – if necessary – recuse yourself when you’re dealing with the attacking customer.

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Fix the Unfixed Issue for Your Customer – 1/23/18

Posted on in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment


Here it comes again. It’s the issue that came to your attention last week but still hasn’t been fixed. It’s a glitch on the website, it’s a backorder issue, or it’s a new phone system causing the average wait time to double. You know about the issue, but – worse yet – your customers know about the issue. So how do you handle it when the customer brings it to your attention?

First, empathize and admit knowledge. Convey your understanding of the other person’s frustrations as you would with any complaint. Do not try to hide the issue. Tell them that you’re aware of it.

Second, note what is being done to resolve the problem. Tell them in general what is being done to address the issue. Even if it is a statement such as “We have a team looking at it” or “Our tech folks are investigating” or “The system is in the process of being upgraded” – those brief statements suggest that resolution is underway, and complaints of customers like the one that you’re talking with are being taken seriously. Don’t dwell on the details of the issue or all the specific actions being taken to rectify the concerns. This can get the conversation off track or going down negative path.

Transition to a near-term solution. Quickly move toward some alternatives that the customer could consider in the meantime. These are typically actions that YOU can take as opposed to having the customer go through several steps on their own to fix a problem that was caused by the company. For example, you could transition with statements such as: “Fortunately, we do have a couple other options for you to consider” or “However, there is some good news…” or “While we’re updating the website, here is what I can do for you right now…”

When dealing with a known issue, don’t ignore it, try to hide, or argue with the customer about it. Instead, empathize, admit knowledge, note the action being taken so they won’t have to deal with this again in the future, and quickly transition to an alternative.

Fix today’s customer issue even before the real issue is resolved for tomorrow’s customer.

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Do This, Not That! – 1/9/18

Posted on in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment


Several years ago, a relative introduced me to the book “Eat This, Not That!” One version of the book operated off that premise that if you have to eat at a particular restaurant, eat THIS option (not THAT option), because it’s healthier.

Now, let’s have some fun! Let’s apply the THIS/THAT approach to the phrases we use in customer service.

When a hospital patient is nervous or anxious, Say THIS -> We’ve helped many patients who have had the same treatment, and they’ve gotten through the process with positive results. (Build their confidence)

Not THAT -> Stop complaining. It’s not that big a deal. (Don’t downplay the person’s right to feel what they feel)

When a sports ticket holder is upset, Say THIS -> I can understand the frustration, and I’m sorry there was an issue with the seats. Let’s see what we can do about this for you. Can I have your account number, please? (Empathize and apologize; transition to a next step; ask them an objective question)

Not THAT -> What’s your account number? (Don’t ignore their desire for you to take SOME responsibility prior to moving to the solution)

When a customer calls with a complaint about the company and makes it personal about you, Say THIS -> I’d like to help you, Mr. Smith, but we need to be able to discuss it professionally. If that’s possible, I’m happy to talk more now, or – as an alternative – we can schedule a call to discuss again tomorrow, or I’m happy to get someone else to help you. Which option would you prefer? (Don’t take the abuse, but let them know your expectation for how you’ll be treated, and share alternatives)

Not THAT -> If you’re going to be a $%^&#!, I’m not talking to you! (Even though you may want to fire back, don’t feed into it and escalate the conversation; don’t sink to their level and make it personal)

There aren’t always perfect phrases for these situations, but there are characteristics of what to say and not say when faced with these challenges.

Do This, Not That!

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