customer service | Customer Service Solutions, Inc. - Page 13

Stay Calm When the Customer Isn’t - 2/24/26


There are all sorts of others’ emotions that you have to deal with as a customer service professional.  The other person could be anxious or upset, they could be angry or agitated.  It can run the gamut of emotions, but for you to deal with them in the best Read more

Don’t Begin with the Dead End in Mind - 2/17/26


Habit #2 of Stephen Covey’s “Seven Habits of Highly Successful People” is “Begin with the End in Mind.”  It speaks to the need to have a clear vision or goal for what you’re trying to ultimately achieve, so you understand the purpose of what you’re doing.  It helps you Read more

Explain without Over Explaining - 2/10/26


The customer has a question, and we have an answer.  They need to learn something, and we’re in the position to be the educator.  There’s a process they have to go through, and we need them to understand. We know so much, and we could impart so much, but sometimes Read more

Look for a Stop Sign - 2/3/26


As a customer service professional, what you say matters.  The information you’re providing is useful.  The direction you’re giving the other person is helpful.  But... As you’re speaking, you also need to be reading.  Reading the other person.  Watching the customer, determining whether and how they’re receiving what you’re sharing.  Read more

When They Want the Supervisor - 1/27/26


Maybe you did your best with the customer, or maybe the customer didn’t even give you a chance.  They want to talk to your supervisor.  They see you, notice your title does not have “supervisor” or “manager” or “director” or “President and CEO” in it, so they want to Read more

Identify Your Point of Empathy - 1/20/26


I was watching a webinar recently on empathy.  The speaker mentioned that empathy - to a large extent - is something that you are born with.  It’s something that’s very difficult to learn.  And while I agree that some people are predisposed to being empathetic and understanding of others Read more

Pressure is a Privilege, but... - 1/13/26


When athletes are asked about the pressure of a playoff match or a late-game situation, many times they will say that “pressure is a privilege.”  In other words, usually pressure exists because you’re in a match that matters most.  It exists because you are a player put in a Read more

While I’ve Got You on the Phone… - 1/6/26


I’m a big planner.  Whether it’s strategic planning or planning out the year or planning my week first thing on a Monday morning, I like to plan.  I do this because it gets all of my action items documented and ensures that I have some understanding of what I Read more

Pass the Quick Impression Test - 12/30/25


Some studies have shown that people create an impression of you in less than a second when they first meet you face-to-face.  Other studies have shown that that initial impression can take up to 7 seconds.  Regardless, first impressions are quick.  First impressions are not always the lasting impression, Read more

2025 Holiday Poem - 12/23/25


We hear the word change And that change can be good, But we like things to stay same, And sometimes they should.   The weather can be wet And then dry as a bone. We know things will change, Even if all left alone.   Our customers change. Our co-workers do, too. It seems like our resources Are often too few.   The technology Read more

Questions to Guide You to Empathy – 5/13/25

Posted on in Customer Service Tip of the Week Please leave a comment

“If I was him, I would do ABC…”

If you’ve ever heard somebody say this – whether it’s a friend or acquaintance, whether it’s some TV reporter or podcaster – you may get as frustrated or as annoyed as I do.

I get annoyed because we are not that other person.  We haven’t lived their life.  We haven’t experienced what they experienced.  So, in most cases, it’s hard to tell people what they should do or what we definitely would do if we were in their situation.

But for customer service, there actually is some value in asking a related question.  When we’re engaging with the customer, it sometimes is helpful to ask ourselvesIf I was him, how would I feel?  What would I want to know?  How would I want people to respond to me?

I often note how empathy is the single most important characteristic of somebody who’s great at customer service.  But many of us are not naturally empathetic.  Many of us don’t know what it means to be empathetic.  Sometimes it helps to have little prompts or triggers or questions that we ask ourselves to get into that empathetic mindset.

If we’re getting ready to interact with somebody who is returning a product that was defective or part of it was missing, it helps to ask ourselves:  If I was him, how would I feel?

If I’m interacting with a customer who is brand new and has never had to deal with any of our processes, it helps to ask ourselves:  If I was her, what would I want to know?

If I’m interacting with somebody who just went through our business or financial process, or experienced our entertainment venue or game, or was getting discharged from our medical facility, it helps to ask ourselves: What feedback might they want to share?

If you ever find yourself engaging everyone in the same way and not really reading the other person well, if anybody ever accuses you of not being empathetic enough, just start asking yourself a few questions.  Ask – How might they feel? What might they want to know? What might they want to share?  And use those questions to guide your conversation and help you convey some empathy.

Ask yourself questions that help you better empathize with others.

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Negate the Nervousness – 5/6/25

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The customer needed a loan, so he walked into the bank, but he was a little nervous.  He knew that launching his business would be easier if he had some working capital, but that’s about all he knew.  He was anxious because he didn’t know what to expect in the process, and he didn’t know if he’d get a loan.  If the loan was approved, he was uncertain of the amount of funding he’d receive, the interest rate, by when/how he’d have to pay it back.

Then he met Marguerite.  She was the banker, and she didn’t know the customer, didn’t know the needs, didn’t know whether she could address the needs.  But Marguerite had her act together.  What she DID know was her approach to engaging a customer that walked through the doors.  She knew her paperwork, her policies, her procedures.

Marguerite understood – that despite dealing with data, facts, figures, money – she was also dealing with a human being.  She was also dealing with his emotions, and she could see the emotions – a mixture of anxiety and hope – written on his face.  She was also dealing with the understanding that – handled effectively – she could be starting a business relationship between the customer and the bank that could last a lifetime.

We’ve Been There, Done That – But the Customer Hasn’t

With new customers, there’s often apprehension.  There’s a fear of the unknown.  There’s uncertainty.  And if we can change the uncertainty to certainty, then we can convey hope, we can build rapport, we can help grow the customer’s confidence.

Marguerite could not convey certainty about the outcome, but she could convey certainty about the process.  She could describe the steps, note what had worked in the past with other clients, and share an attitude of interest, concern, and responsiveness.

Negate the nervousness.  Build customer confidence by creating some certainty.

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Don’t Rush to Resolve Quickly – 4/29/25

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The customer is angry, so you use the CSS LEAD technique as designed.  You, listen, empathize, accept responsibility, and deliver on a remedy.  But it doesn’t work.  The customer is still upset, and maybe even a little more frustrated than when you started…why?!

If the use of this technique fails, the biggest reason is usually that the employee wanted to get out of the conversation FAST.  The employee is uncomfortable in these situations, and they don’t like to deal with the irate customers, so they try to quickly remove themselves from the situation.  And the employee usually – sincerely – believes that quick resolution is what the customer wants, so quick resolution means a fast conversation, right?

Not necessarily. The employee has to be patient to get a quick resolution.

Whether the employee is trying to extricate themselves from the conversation or help the customer get that quick resolution, the most frequent drawback in taking those perspectives is that they try to navigate the conversation too fast.  The employee talks fast.  They don’t give the customer enough time to vent.  They quickly go to a solution without learning the facts.  They interrupt the customer.  They say “I’m sorry” so early on and so quickly that the sincerity is lost.  The employee tries to end the conversation before the customer’s emotions start to calm down.  The employee takes control with speed rather than taking control with well-worded questions.

Quick resolution is a clear goal of most customers, but the best way to get there involves listening, empathizing, and being patient enough to ask the right questions so you can present the right solution.  Speeding to an end rarely ends well.

Don’t Rush to Resolve Quickly.

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